I have succumbed!

The new year approaching, which means a new beginning! With new and renewed hopes. Let my steps be guided.

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This is so beautiful!

My voluble heart speaks with a tongue too sublime for interpretation. It mentions you unremittingly.

from this tumblr

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Trying to get our research proposal approved by ethics boards is a nightmare - the red tape, seriously! This really puts me off working in any sort of research capacity within the field in my future career. Taking care of nitty gritty matter is not my strength and gets me irritated very quickly; I don't know how people in HR and administration deal with this stuff all the time. Ish, paperwork, why are you such a thorn in my side! 

If you truly want God, you want what He wants. And if you love something, you make much remembrance of it. 

Amen.

Maybe it's just lag time, so patience is the way.

At a moment’s notice you need a moment’s notice because something has changed. God allows us to see what is there after what had been there. We see the smile perhaps, but not the budding smile, and if that smile only buds and then quickly returns to its place of safety we may not see it at all. We see only some scenes in a play of reactions to our words or our pleas or our gestures. Light needs an object to shine on, so it's a shame if the light's not right, you may have missed something to the darkness. Better to not be too sad when someone doesn’t seem to respond exactly how we hope, just imagine something budding in the lag time.

from here.

Why is December always a pile-up of everybody's birthdays together! I think I'll go bankrupt with presents. Not to mention also holiday costs, yikes.

Been working on my granny's big birthday bash photo montage, and I also got a spanking new camera! (The real reason I'm going bankrupt, right, haha.)

Got the Canon Powershot G12 (which I'm sure is pretty common among consumers; I'm quite sure Marli has this same one). I personally think it's awesome because it's the perfect combination of lazy and pro, heheh. There are convenient knobs for one to tinker around with the shutter, aperture and exposure etc (knowledge I should try to brush up on and finally put to real use) but is not a real DSLR because the lens are fixed and not changeable. So you know, I can try to be a pro with my photos without having to deal with the clunkiness and confusing hardware of a DSLR. I don't see myself lugging around big cameras and lenses; I'm just not that disciplined enough. Think I might go borrow a photog book to read up a little, and refresh my old photog juices, if I had any.

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When one does this video/photo editing stuff, songs get stuck real easy.

I can't smile without you,
Can't smile without you,
Can't laugh, and I can't sing,
I'm finding it hard to do anything.
You know I feel sad when you're sad,
Feel glad when you're glad,
If you only knew, what I'm going through,
I just can't smile without you...

In that case, stay out of love? Not that one has a choice about it, right?

it's all, uh, whoops!

Umar, while we were playing Kalimat (Salman's Muslim version of Taboo): We all fall in...?

The rest of us: Hah???

Love.

Which earned him lots of teasing after that, hahaha.

December holidays!

But I have so many things going on, and despite a small social circle, so many people to meet up with, that for certain, this month will fly by like nobody's business, and then 2012 will roll around. The horror of another year passing by, haha. But I was chatting with Mini the other day, and looking back on 2011, I think quite a bit has changed. For one thing, I'm halfway to becoming a proper speech language therapist! Insya Allah.

I have caught up a bit with the movie and tv watching, and right now, this:

Watashi ga Renai Dekinai Riyuu (The reason I can't find my love)

What is this scarily realistic movie about single ladies! It reminds me of Freeter, Ie wo Kau!, Nino's drama earlier this year, which was so realistic with regard to unemployment in young adults today. And now this -- of course, I can relate, haha. It's enjoyable and fun and explores lots into the complexities of the lives of young modern women. A bunch of single ladies decide to room together, figuring it would be advantageous in many ways, and end up trashing out about love and helping each other out with single-dom. I'm liking it so far, although some truths will be thrown out that stab me painfully in the heart, ahakz.

A silly notion (from the drama) about calculating the "time" of your life on a 24-hour clock: just take your age and divide it by 3. It's 8AM for me; morning still. Ohayou, life! Ganbarimasu.

Wah, awesome summary on the subject matter of calling on the Prophet. :)



I remember when I was at Irsyad last year, I overheard a couple of teachers arguing about how ridiculous it was that people thought they were addressing the Prophet in prayer. But it's true what! "Assalamualaika, ayuhan Nabi...", with the littlest Arabic knowledge, obviously shows you addressing him. And you can't address someone's who's dead, can you? I don't recall what they had a contention with specifically, but I remember feeling sad at that point.

Meikyuu Love Song!



Started watching Sho's Nazotoki wa Dinner no Ato de, and finally listened to this song and its meaning, and I love it. Arashi's songs are always kinda like that; they're not usually awesome at first listen, but after some time, when I bother to look up the pv and the lyrics, I realise the meaning is so sweet. <3

Haha! But see, if life wasn't confusing and a struggle, it wouldn't be worth it. We'd just be bored, maybe.

Sorry lah, I shy! :\

I want to watch this! Been looking around for it for some time now. It's about the famous lady scientist with Asperger's called Temple Grandin, who made her place in the world, despite being put down all her life because of her condition.

Claire Danes's acting looks amazing here. In this clip she tries to explain to parents why ASD kids love to roll around or repeatedly engage in mechanical motions. I think this movie will make me cry buckets, judging from this single clip.

Trying a new look for my blog! Something a bit brighter. And the photo was taken last year from Isle of Skye, Scotland; it totally looks like one of those places where Highlander would stick his sword into the ground and stare off into the distance.

haha! I remember when they had Highlander on tv.

On other things: semester wrapping to a close soon, once oral vivas are done and case presentations too. :s This has been one of the longest and most tiring uni semesters I've ever had. Or maybe I forgot how crazy it was when I was rushing FYP. Don't know anymore; memory is hazy. 

I was going to be a little emo here, but then... usually, I look back on emo posts and cringe. Some nights, heart feels extra heavy. 

Why am I such a girl, eee! -.- ok, goodnight.

People love feeling special but they don't love that much being different. It's strange. When actually, it's one and the same, no? Emerson said, "How wonderful, and how painful, to be an exception."

Two more weeks! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

This is interesting stuff! It reminds me of a quote I posted not long ago:


If you cannot make distinction between what is beautiful and what is not, then you are missing an instrument of the self. 



You know that feeling that you get when you see beauty? The real kind that kind of awes you deep inside. And you don't know why you think it's beautiful; it just is. There is a connection between beauty and the sacred, quite clearly. And what this documentary is saying is that modern art seems to have lost this idea.

Very true, from what little I know of modern art. I am reminded of the time me and Eunice wandered around the Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco and we were alternately scoffing and laughing our asses off at what was passing off as art. I remember an exhibit consisting of a single long fluorescent bulb on a wall, and Eunice standing next to it with an incredulous face, mouth hanging open in disgust. Haha, we were like, "How on earth are these random ugly stuff considered art?!?!?!"

Yes, friend, I hear you. This is me and I know this excuse is getting old, haha. I was just vowing to make a list of personal goals for next placement and on the top is: To be efficient.

I think I need tips from my genius friend, Duck.

Hearts incline to those who do good to them.

"Rasulullah is the chlorophyll of our souls."

- Hamza Yusuf

This analogy is too cute!

I believe there is a natural gravitation to certain things. You spend your life wandering and then you realise you keep coming back to the same things. That maybe, this is proof that things have been written since the beginning. It's that feeling... deep down, in perhaps a subconscious manner, you know what and how things should be. It's either you want to face it or ignore it. It's that pull that tugs at your heart and brings you places.

I know how airy-fairy I sound at times... but. How else can I explain it, I don't know. And sometimes, maybe even words are too cheap to give life to grand things.

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<3 Not many people in this world today I look up to like this.

Had a great day! Did several things right and I think I pleased my CE because I did up my own personal format for OME (i.e. oromotor exam), incorporating bits from everywhere. And as I was working on one of my adorable 8 kiddies (one of my faves! he vocalizes cutely at everything), and finally feeling like I'm in my element on the 5th try with the OME, my CE peeked in and gave a somewhat-approving look and smile. And after that we had a good discussion and I was the last to leave the office! Record, yo. Nice accomplished feeling after being all fail on Monday.

Anyway, tonight I ended up watching Daniel Radcliffe on Inside the Actor's Studio -- and he says he has a mild form of dyspraxia! Interesting... This explains a little; I always thought he was a bit awkward with his limbs and is a bit ungainly in his walk. And am I imagining it if I say that he has strange but subtle groping actions with his mouth and face in general? Haha. It might just be me being way off after a day cracking my head about apraxia versus articulation and phonology issues.

Aside from not being entirely the amazing Harry in my head, I think Radcliffe isn't too bad.



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Walked home to this song, feeling happy, thankful and hopeful.



Looking up at the midnight sky not knowing
Shivering Swaying to the nightmare of not knowing
Other than that I don't know what to do
Can't fall asleep because of this anxiety
Calling faintly to you
Everyday crying good bye tears
Your heart and soul is in it, feel it
Make tomorrow different from yesterday
Make a brighter day