This shall be a random photo entry.

The time we brought Ahmad and Hefni to Hei Sushi.









The time when we were going to meet up with Yeatian and wasted time at TCC watching random crappy stuff on my laptop. I tried showing Eunice JE-related stuff too. Also, look at my very pretty, layered hazelnut latte.




Went out with Eunice and Yujie to Island Creamery over the weekend. Played a whole slew of random games and Zigity (some warped vesion of UNO, except not really), where Yujie established her suckiness at said game. She lost all three rounds, hands down. Also, much raving on Eunice's part on supposed best Wimbledon Final ever between Federer and Nadal. She brought entire ST article to force people to read.






Note my affogato! The expresso with a scoop of ice cream. It was absolute yumminess.



Oh my, this made us burst out laughing! We were playing pictionary (sorta) and just with those pudgy feet, I could guess that the answer was Teletubbies. >.< The same thing happened with Totoro - I could guess it with just the pointy ears and one side of its body.







And finally, a decent picture. :) Thank god for the family and friends that I have, that make this life crazy fun.

		I will marry Somebody Only I Know.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Singapore in our fabulous Apartment.
		We will have 2 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Yellow Beemer.
		I will spend my days as a Scientist, and live happily ever after.

WAHAH. My sister did it at her blog, so I decided to do for me for fun. So amusing. The guy part was down to two people and it was almost Yamapi, man. I was so happy. Haha. And uh, I've never seen a yellow BMW! :P But it'd be nice to have a yellow one.

And of all the places I selected, it's still Singapore. BORING! I even put Switzerland and Madinah. But dang.

Okay, lunchtime! Going Ghim Moh again.

(Freak, why is there a big empty space in this entry?!)

I had a very very long, very interesting and amusing saturday. :D

My family (12 of us) plus two chinese dudes got stuck in Mustafa Centre's glass elevators for fifty freaking minutes, and there was barely any ventilation such that we were sweating like pigs and the glass was FOGGING UP. By the way, this happened at 1 a.m.. >.< The lift jerked like twice before stalling halfway. At first I thought it would be a quickie fix, but help took so damn long to come. And seriously, for a moment, I thought we could have suffocated from the lack of air. Said called the cops even. It seems laughable now, but at that time, haha, I don't know, it was... hectic! And my dad insisted we kept pressing the bell so they would show some urgency because they were taking FOREVER to come. No one attempted to attend to us. Talk about apathy. And I forced open the lift doors and then Said put his mango juice bottle to keep them open. So that finally we could get some fresh AIR. And only when we did that did the glass stop fogging. No joke, man. I'm not sure if we could have had enough air if they took longer. @_@ And now, my dad is insisting in lodging formal complaints and everything. Cause my poor aunt was in total shock and started puking later.


Anyway, am watching NEWS' Concert Tour: Never Ending Wonderful Story DVD! That Jiawen so very kindly donated yesterday. (thank you x 1000!) And now it's the clip of Ryo-chan's flying kiss to someone in the audience (which is the funniest thing! - an audience member gets picked at random and has the option to ask any of the members to do anything.) It's like my sister's favourite clip or something, haha. And omgness, I was so incredibly tickled when in the opening, Tegoshi introduced himself with the hand action that Domoto Tsuyoshi taught him way back last time!!! >.< "Tegoshi desu!" Apparently, it's become his trademark move.


waaahahaha.

And I just remembered something funny from yesterday's meet-up! jiawen, mumu, eunice and me were at coffeebean wasting time. And we played the drawing game - you know, the game where we draw our versions of whatever subject and then compare. We drew porcupines first and we were thinking of what else to draw... then Munirah suddenly went: "Let's draw Lucy!" And the rest of us were like, "Who??????" @_@ And Munirah said disbelievingly at us, "Lucy the giraffe!" As though Lucy the giraffe was our bosom buddy and to have forgotten her was sin. I asked both jiawen and eunice if they knew Lucy and they were both as confused as I was. It was so funny! It turned out that Lucy was the name of the giraffe at the Singapore Zoo and Mumu remembered her name from the last time we went together, and was somehow shocked that we didn't. It's cute isn't it, to realise what different people consider important. She even remembered the name of the other giraffe - Growie (or stg). haha.

Code Blue first epi is out! Watched it already. So far, Yamapi's character is only so-so. Not warmed up to him yet.

Also have been catching up on Supernatural. :) I miss Dean. Except episode 16 won't load, so am annoyed.

SLEEEEEPY. -_-

This morning, just when we finally finished the x-ray filming for western blot (a method for detecting proteins, fyi), there was an emergency evacuation for all ibn staff. For a second I was like @_@. But then when we finally got out into the open, it turned out to be some airconditioning problem and the safety people feared we would suffocate from the stuffiness. -_- Honestly, I think none of us noticed it. It felt the same as always. Such things are disruptive! like if you were running some time-based experiment or something or incubating your cells with trypsin, which when left too long, KILLS THE CELLS - I would have been truly irritated.

I am so so so psyched for The Dark Knight, because apparently Heath Ledger's performance might go down in history as the best Joker ever.

Did I say I was sleepy? I am sleepy. -_-

Life has always been somewhat uneventful for me. I was thinking of what I could possibly write about today, but then I realised that besides fangirling, there isn't much interesting going on at all! It's rather depressing.

Jiawen is coming back home soon, and we already anticipate much fangirling conversations when we meet up! :)) ahah. (eunice and munirah, beware. :p)

Friday night, we had dinner at Hanis@Eastpoint with Cik Dah and company. And when we were chatting away at dessert at Starbucks, I felt very happy. I mean, I suppose I've enjoyed many dinners before. But that night, I just took a step back from myself and realised that I was happy with life. It could be better, but it could be a whole lot worse. So, sipping on hot caramel macchiato, and listening to everyone telling each other jokes, gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. okay, sappy quota fulfilled for today? yes, I think so.

okay, a kurosagi fanvid, because I so want a second season! pleasepleaseplease. >.< and this is my OTP right now.

I've been messaging jiawen on facebook about JE. haha. finally, there's someone I know who knows this stuff, you know? And we are excited cause she says HanaYoriDango the movie is coming to singapore in august and we shall drag munirah (and maybe eunice too? :P) to watch together. yippeeness.

only apoptosis assay in the afternoon today.

and oh! Of course I should say that eunice and me met up with yeatian yesterday! Yeatian is going to Kyuushu (spelling?) for a summer exchange! >.< jealous, jealous. And we talked so much at swensen's about eveything from stupid people who don't know that England is part of Europe to ghost stories. I think I have this inability to contain my excitement when talking about stuff. Like this couple sitting next to us - I was vaguely aware they were a bit annoyed at our noisy table. I don't know. Not sure if it's me being oversensitive. But they left rather quickly too.

and oh, I was just reading the paper while eating tahue this morning, about how being geeky is so the in thing now. That truly rocks, it does. It means my torturous mugging for programming has some popularity boosting power for me or stg (muaha, what am I saying???). HAHA. Masi Oka (Hiro from Heroes), who apparently has a mind-boggling IQ of 180 (the average is 100) and was once a special-effects programmer for Lucas Films, said "A geek is just someone who's really passionate about something and I'd rather be passionate about something than be apathetic about everything." :) so it's okay to be geeks. And apparently Oka was voted into the Sexiest Men list last year?! really, man. Geeks are inheriting the earth, they are. And the ST article ended with how all this only proves that the brain is the sexiest part of the body. nyaha.

want and think something nice. (:



This is from Wordle. A place where you can insert a bunch of text and produce semi-personalized art from it. So I used entries from this month and voila! You can see what has been most prominent in my posts. Words with a higher frequency are given prominence. I see mice and cat both appear. Haha. And Japan. :p No surprise. And apparently I use the word nice too much.

I like this!

Mondays mornings are THE worst. Because I'll always end up sleeping later than usual on sunday night and have trouble dragging myself out of bed in the mornings. >.< All I want is to stay under the covers.

Parents came back from Puncak in the wee hours of sunday morning. Me and brother were at T3 at 2 am. I got a donut and he got a cheeseburger while waiting. Parents look happy but tired. And brought 5 bags home. 5 okay. Nutters. But I got a quite a lot of things! A pair of jeans that fits! (yay!) A nice black and white top. A nice brown shawl. A scarily garish pink shirt. A bangle.

AND AND AND. They bought Ayat-ayat Cinta, which we tried to watch last night itself, but THEN: it cocked up right in the middle. It refused to continue playing. @_@ I was like: "WHAT?!" It looked original okay. So I still haven't finished watching it. I tell you, I'm cursed with regards to this movie. But so far... eh... I like the art direction; very pretty. And the whole premise is very promising. But the acting is rather amateurish! Which made some parts rather laughable when it wasn't supposed to. And the arabic! Makengkau. We kept laughing cause it doesn't sound like arabic but garbled indonesian or something. Nya! >.< haha. But so far, this Fahri character, I suppose I grudgingly like him. He's nice but not overbearing. But what's with all these Muslimahs clamouring for him??? HAHA. I thought it was amusing. I'm sure there are many such nice Muslim guys studying at Azhar. And what's with German girls being able to speak Indon so fluently and saying "dong" at the end of sentences?! It just totally cracked me up!

muaha. I shall find a way to continue watching it. :p

Sis and me are having a heartfelt conversation with granny about relationships and stories of our parents and how girls should rightfully be home by dusk. HAHA.

And how members of our family are all somehow slowly getting hitched with Indians. Like Kaktiyah. And Bubu. And Kak Ilah. And my brother too. And my granny's like, "Eh, korang janganlah, eh! Tak nak mama jugak. Kesian Abah." Because everyone knows how hung up my dad is about us marrying an Arab. -____-

And then, me and sis, in absolute unison said, "Kita nak Jepun!" And then we screamed in laughter together. It was seriously hilarious. Oh, our JE-riddled brains. :p But really! At this stage, I think I'd choose a Yamapi over an Abang Dolah, if you know what I mean. Okay, you probably don't, but nevermind.

I just want true love, daddy, thank you.

More of my mice died, by the way. I am fearful. :s And I think I maimed one of them during imaging today, haha. Like I was a bit rough with him and almost cracked his skull or something. :s If I could apologise properly to it, I would. I'd say gratefully, "Thank you for dedicating your little precious lives to science. May god reserve nice fields of wheat for you in heaven."

I've also been thinking: how people perceive me as an uberly serious person. (Like today, although I really wasn't feeling sad but just thinking about the deconvolution image problem, Irene asked me why I was sad! And I was like, "Eh?!" Do I have a perpetual melancholic expression or something???). Most times I think I'm actually like the most blur, whacked, dreamy-in-the-clouds person on earth. Like I was visiting Archana's mice the other time. And the black ones are really tinier and more active or something and one was swinging from the top of the cage like a trapeze artist, and I just spoke naturally to it, "What are you doing, you psychotic mouse!" To which, to my surprise, Archana burst out laughing. And my first reaction was like, "Eh?" And with some thought, I somehow came to realise what comes naturally to me might seem nutty to others.

okay, time for sleep. APEX camp tomorrow!

The Sichuan Zoo recently had a panda baby boom! Have you seen this???







Aaaah! SO cute! They're like furry footballs! I want a panda, please. And I can't believe I haven't been getting to watch the movies I've wanted to watch. I didn't manage to catch Ayat-ayat Cinta at the theatres. And I still haven't seen Kungfu Panda and The Happening! I WANT. Maybe friday night? Before the parents come back from their happy holiday.

Anyway, yes, my parents are having a nice vacation at a mountainside in Puncak, Indonesia. I would have gone if not for this work attachment with mice. And I was really deciding whether to forget about this job thingy for the trip, but I decided that maybe I should try working for once. Besides, I have the december hols to console myself with - I am seriously hoping for Japan. Been relentlessly bugging my dad about it. At random intervals, I'd poke my dad and say, "Japan, okay? Japan, okay?" And he'd go, "TSK." But I secretly think that my dad melts with much persuasion and poking and the right amounts of grins and puppy eyes from his daughters. (Although, crap, this coming from a 21-year-old must be weird.) I shall keep at it. And Japan might just materialise by the end of this year! >.< And I want to be able to speak a decent amount of Japanese by that time.

I have not much work today. Image processing has encountered big insurmountable pothole; the software isn't able to deconvolve (aka resolve) the image correctly. So, my poor overworked mentor will have to scout around and figure something out. And I shall go read some bio stuff and anticipate my mice imaging work tomorrow.

Suddenly had the urge to reread Totto-chan. I remember how much I loved it when I was 14. And how much I wanted too to go to a school out of train cabins and have a lovable headmaster who could be both your teacher and your friend. Now that I'm 21 and rereading it, I want to be a teacher at such a school. Really. I want to teach at a school like Tomoe Gakuen. Where education is at its truest. Learn what you love to learn. And everyone gets a fair chance at it. :) Oh, what joy. No fuss about grades, but emphasis on developing not just the mind, but the body and spirit as well. If only I'd been enrolled in a Tomoe-Gakuen. I think I'd have been a happier and more confident child.

The head master deplored contemporary education, with its emphasis on the written word, which tended to atrophy a child's sensual perception of nature and intuitive receptiveness to the still small voice of God, which is inspiration.

It was the poet Basho who wrote:

Listen! a frog
Jumping into the silence
Of an ancient pond!

Yet the phenomenon of a frog jumping into a pond must have been seen by many others. Down through the ages and in the whole world, Watt and Newton cannot have been the only ones to notice the steam from a boiling kettle or observe an apple fall.

Having eyes but not seeing beauty; having ears, but not hearing music; having minds, but not perceiving truth; having hearts that are never moved and therefore never set on fire. These are the things to fear, said the headmaster.

~ Tetsuko Kuroyanagi, Totto-chan

So. In case you didn't already know, I've recently (past few months) been very into Jap stuff (as evinced by my blog entries), namely Johnny's Entertainment. And tonight, I need to gush. o_O

Seriously: I adore Tegoshi. In a not really guy way. It's hard to explain. It's different. Like... I think Yamapi is amazing. And I adore him in the way I adore Lymond, Draco, Keanu (although now not so much, but first loves are still forever) etc. But when it comes to Tego - gosh. I like him like I like a cute little brother (although technically he's turning 21 too). And, like I said before, he makes me feel oddly proud. Maybe because he's an extremely pretty JE boy BUT BUT BUT he can sing. So damn well. Which is seriously a rare event in JE. (Try listening to SMAP live.) Everytime TegoMass performs, I watch. Because Tego just rocks, man, he does. I want to squish him! With that pretty, girlish face and that amazing voice - he can be big, yes he can.

And Ai Ai Gasa is slowly crawling up my favourites list. The meaning is so sweet. Here it is if you're curious.



So cute, right! And no prizes for guessing who's Tegoshi. But gah, his blond hair! >.< I prefer black. Black is always best.

Why is free disk space so hard to come by. My whole image processing work has been held up because we don't have enough disk space and my mentor has to spend hours just transferring files.

Was just reading Straits Times about that whacked Japanese dude who stabbed people in Akihabara. It's a sad story. How he's really mentally unstable and resorted to this. I mean, he didn't deny doing it, too. When you think about it, how many of us out there are actually very, very lonely, and need someone to just care, so we don't go around murdering people in a bid for attention? I think I'm incredibly grateful I have a family I can talk to about most things, a sister I crap to about almost everything, and a friend I ramble to about the stresses of life and how much we want holidays. Sometimes, all it needs is one person to make all the difference.

Taking the trains back and forth always puts me in a pensive mood. Traveling time is my time for picking at my brain and my thoughts. Like yesterday, I realised that if I could put all that I wanted from life in one statement, it'd be this: To live true. Short, and simple, and all one truly needs to be happy, I think.

40GB disk space now available! okay, going to do image processing now. let me be able to work the code. >.<

Went to Ghim Moh for lunch today. There ain't no more MacDonald's there! In fact, the whole place looked kinda different. :( Sad. It was a Macs full of memories. We played games there, and lepak there, I wasted time waiting for my dad there.

Been spending the morning figuring out image processing. And as I blog, I'm letting the software load the images. It takes forever. And I've been listening to Jap songs along the way. I really think, and I'm saying this as free of JE and NEWS bias as possible, Tego has a superb voice. Besides Yamapi's, I'm always looking forward to his parts of the song. I love just listening to him! ah, I feel oddly proud.

Image loading now stuck at 20 of 27. -_- I'm running out of songs to entertain myself with.

Meeting Jean later! :) It seems like ages since we talked last.

And oh, although I doubt Pige reads this: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (A day late, but I think it's good enough. :P) You are officially, officially, of any kind of legal age. I keep wanting to send her an email wish, but in between looking at these images, it keeps slipping my mind.

I've been wanting to say something about a cat. Every morning now, as I walk to the MRT station on the long arduous journey of getting to Biopolis, I pass by this nice, fluffy, greyish cat, sleeping on the steps of a ground-floor apartment. And everytime I see it, I think, "Oh, you lucky cat!" That cat has got it good. While I have to work hard and travel far, lugging my freaking heavy laptop. Every morning, I get jealous of the cat for getting to sleep in. >.< ahhhh. It's so nice to be able to laze indefinitely.

but work is good too. yes it is.

Knocking off work in a bit. -_- My back aches from sitting constantly and staring at my laptop. Although the morning was spent in the lab.

Describing work isn't fun.

I feel so uninspired! >.<

I don't know if this is what I want to do all my life. Ahhh. Feel so drained and confused.

Module planning is bugging me again. And my dropping CAP. >.<

This morning, my dad had a strange mood swing and burst into our rooms at 8.30 with a wide smile and announced that we were going out for a day excursion. I was a combination of -______- and @_@ because I slept at four and was hoping to snooze till late. He had turned environmentalist all of a sudden and suggested treetop walks and chek jawa. I was really going "Eeeeeeeeh." What is goin on.

Minus my sister who had her pesta pantun meeting, we went for Nasi Rawan breakfast at the ever-favourite Wak Nah at Bedok and set off in the direction of Telok Blangah. But then my mum was worried about the heat so we decided to go to the national museum instead. The first time since the revamp. Pics ahead.



There was this brocade Greek statue that was quite fascinating.









The Film History Gallery was nice too. P. Ramlee stuff.





I have no idea why the photos can't be horizontal! Anyway, I can't decide who's prettier between the two: Zaiton or Sarimah (the latter). I always thought Sarimah was more beautiful but here Zaiton looks super sexy in her kebaya.




$3 movie ticlets! must be heaven.




Then there was the food section. I swear we smelt jemput-jemput (fried banana cakes) inside the gallery.







The audio companions. They were rather troublesome, but quite informative, I guess. I remember Patrick telling us during heritage class that it distracted people from the exhibits. And it's quite true. You end up just listening to the narratives and the exhibits become sort of redundant. Hm.



There were also NAFA furniture design competition entries (or stg) and there was this really cool structure that could be made into a cd shelf. I so want it. I was so fascinated by it I forgot to snap a pic.

Work starts tomorrow! :s

Not for the first time, I'm wishing I only needed 3 hours of sleep. I can feel my brain throbbing for sleep, but I am resisting because goddamn it! There are far too many fun things to do online.

I had to wake up early today and spend almost the entire day learning about PSLE math. All part of being mentor to P6 kids all geared up for the exams. So yes. Lack of sleep.

Anyway. Continuing from last post... I still haven't watched Ayat-ayat Cinta. I don't know, it's like the universe is against my watching it or something. (But I shall not be silly enough to read into that, shut up brain.) So anyway, 7 of us piled into a car (sis, me, brother and our other-brothers) and drove all the way to cathay cineleisure. And when I rushed to buy tickets, the numbers were all already red. SOLD OUT. Seriously. Someone needs to realise that this movie needs more airing time.

So we bummed around. All depressed because we couldn't find a good movie we all hadn't watched. We loitered around PS. And finally swooped down on gelare. We finished 3 waffles at a record speed of 4 minutes. We were all cracked up by the end of it because our $40 waffles disappeared at a rate of $10/min. That's hilarious. Really. Then we browsed dvds and books at Times. I contemplated getting another self-study Japanese book (cause I'm halfway through my current one) but refrained from splurging. Hussain was all psyched about his China stint and was checking out maps. And the boys were at the mags.

It felt good to be out with them, regardless of ultra movie failure. Like rediscovering that bit of me I'd almost entirely forgotten. Nostalgia kicking in again. These were the people I grew up with. And it's so great that we're still close. The original 8, minus one. I think I remember writing about us back in JC. How I felt like everyone was starting to drift apart at that point.

It's happened... a little. But we're still hanging on. But this whole business about all the boys having girlfriends, as I suspect, is unsettling. Ah. The tides of time waits for no girl.

And oh. I got the IBN attachment. Part of me is absolutely determined I enjoy this.

I've been wanting to say something about Maulid celebrations that we had last sunday. I stupidly forgot to bring my cam! -_- And the Hadhrah boys were so nicely dressed up too. And Ahmad had his flute and everything. Kebodohan right!

I really thought the Hadhrah was good. But I wish they'd learnt to do the breathing thing as well. Okay, I'm not sure know how to describe this breathing thing: it's like they breathe in and out but within each breath you can hear "Allah". It's really damn cool.

Ah, gotta go! Finally watching Ayat-ayat Cinta with the cuzzies. (:

I like this video too! It's one of the older ones. It's scary lah. Thinking about arrogance. It's an all-too-easy trap. Cause you always have to remind yourself that whatever that's good about yourself, ain't all yours in the first place.



Lucky I didn't go up to him and ask for an autograph (read previous entry). :S

I think I saw Baba Ali yesterday! Went out with Hudy, Marli and Khairiah to eat at Al-Majlis, and when we were almost leaving, I saw this guy at the table next to us, and he looked just like Baba Ali. O_O I kept trying to peek at him over my shoulder. I really think it was him! Except he looked a bit younger... But if it was him, what's he doing in Singapore?! I was too freaked to go up to him and ask lah. Too embarassing.

Here's one of the funnier episodes about hijab. The names he gives to the different kinds of hijab are so amusing!


Anyway, yesterday was sweet! The four of us met up for dinner and I received belated birthday presents. >.< A green purse and bangles! I really want to wear them bangles. If only they were just that bit smaller, they'd be perfect. And there was much gushing over Ayat-ayat Cinta. I really want to watch it now! And consequently much discussion over jodoh and soulmates. Very amusing. The concluding theory contributed by Hudy: everyone has a soulmate (someone who loves and wants you as much as you do him/her) except that person might not be the one you live with for the rest of your life. In fact, your soulmate could be that one amazing person you spent 10 minutes with at the bus stop but never meet again. @_@ How sad, right. Haha.

PHOTOS!: Lunch at the halal Hei Sushi @ Downtown East with Eunice! I finally had a proper sushi meal, and I actually liked it! Was so happily surprised. My family largely looks down on uncooked food (My brother: "Cooking was invented for a reason.") and everyone thinks sashimi looks particularly disgusting. But but BUT! I actually liked everything I tried! So happy. I've already told Ahmad (the only cousin that likes Japanese cuisine) about it and we've promised to go together some time. :)

Me at Hei Sushi. The computerized ordering system is a bit whacked though.


Eunice with the menu. She looks amused. Probably at my crazy level of excitement over some Japanese food.


The salmon nigiri! My favourite of the lot.


The Hei Chawanmushi. Nice.


Hamachi (if I'm not wrong). I can't say I love raw cold fish, but it wasn't bad.


Prawn nigiri. Prawns never go wrong in my book. (:


Salmon roe. At first they looked scary, but they turned out fine. Salty, but nice.


Maguro nigiri. aka Tuna.


Soft shell crab! Eunice was like, "You've never eaten soft shell crab?! @_@ WE MUST HAVE IT."


Ja!

I'm going out to buy movie tickets in Toa Payoh of all places, because apparently, Congkak only airs at Eng Wah Cinemas. Sigh. Car, I want car. Abah says when I get my licence maybe he'll think of buying us a small car, a cherry qq maybe, ugly as it is.

I was trying to put up photos but tssssk. There is something wrong with blogger at the moment, I think.

My sis just asked me for the name of a music band. I'm like -_____________-"

You ask me for the name of the band? Me, who thought Fountains of Wayne was Fountains of Bay? Haha, really. I'm so bad at recognizing singers and musicians. It is a rare occasion when I truly fall in love with a song and look up the person who sings it.

I have photos to post but I feel lazy. Maybe in a while.

We are going to watch Congkak tomorrow! yippeeness.

Tabloid gossip is such guilty pleasure. >.< Yamapi and Abiru officially over? Please be true. Yamapi deserves better.

Speaking of tabloids... Current family drama made me laugh the other day. It's like, really, the tabloids. You hear like 6 different versions of the same event, rehashed more than 30 times, and you have to try and figure out the truth. And take everything with a little grain of salt.

And the funniest thing was, "Sejak bila aku curi beca?" That was just. That just made me laugh so much. Totally tabloid. Like celebrities reading stuff about themselves in the paper and going, "Eh! I'm not dating her! I said barely two words to her!"

SIGH.

But really. Last night, I almost wanted to cry. When will it ever stop.

Nevermind if you don't know what I'm blabbing on about, it's not worth mulling over.

oh yes! Mother's Day! We gave umi an oriental tea set. And I hugged her and cried. I really am very emo. I'm one of those people you can't hug, because once you do, it'll just release a flood of tears. Sometimes I think I'm holding a fragile glass container in my chest that's just about to crack open anytime. Eheh. There we go, emo again. :|

I pray for better times. Weather the storm and we'll reach the shore, someday.

It's summertime and all, and mostly, I am happy, yes, I am. But but but. Little things can be truly bothersome, and can spoil everything. ack ack ack.

SNIFF.

My heart feels heavy.

I think I need to wake up early tomorrow and do some productive things.

I'm remembering a line from the movie adaptation of The Other Boleyn Girl (which rocked, did I say?): The art of being a woman is letting men think they are the ones in control.

And my. I think it's so so so so so so true. I watched with my brother, so I asked him about it when we were driving back, and he was like, "Yarlah. I think men know it but can't do anything about it." Haha. Women are super-manipulators, okay. If you think about it, Anne Boleyn, as the story depicted, was probably behind the establishment of the Church of England. Amazing, ain't it?

Sigh sigh sigh. Be a good woman, women. Women make or break a family I think, so be a good one.

Also, when I was out today, I saw the chicken essence advert again, and hello, that advert is seriously ridiculous lah okay. If you actually take notice, you'll realise that the kids who claim the intelligence-boosting power of chicken essence are all wearing supposedly top-school uniforms, except without the blatant school badges or crests. There was RG, RI, I think SJI and SCGS too, and Nanyang (without the prominent red kanji characters at the corner! @_@). Who are they trying to kid, really. The advert just SCREAMS Singapore's kiasuism, elitist attitude and grade-obsession. It bothers me! It's like, you can't really say it, but you know, if you drink chicken essence, you can go to RI.

-_- puke.

Some Rafflesians seriously go overboard. Like that Rafflesian success stories book, if you've seen it. What is the need, seriously, to title it that way??? I can't fully verify this, but do we go to bookstores and find books like "Cambridge Success Stories", or "Harvard Superstars" or something like that?! Eeeesh. Sometimes ah. Cannot take it, yar.

I finished watching 1 Litre of Tears. And my goodness, the drama keeps to its title. I cried so much, it's nuts. It's at the level of Tuesdays with Morrie and Prozac Nation and Pawn in Frankincense; where it ain't just, "Ohmygod, that's sad!" and you shed a couple of tears. It's like serious outpourings, non-stop waterworks, almost sobbing out loud kind of sad. If you're in the mood for a tearjerker, this is definitely one. Guaranteed tears. If not, you're inhuman, I think. Haha.

It's funny how, when I have to wake up early to study, I don't. But now when I have nothing to study, I don't go back to sleep after subuh despite sleeping at 3 in the morning, and I do dumb stuff like writing and blogging and reading and watching sappy stuff. My my. If we could only control where our passions lie. I so would.

FINALLY. IT IS DONE!!! DONE WITH PAPERS!!! :)))))

Bio was not great, but it wasn't bad either. But programming was expectedly nightmarish. I was so angry with myself. I couldn't even recall properly the properties of an AVL tree. I was like... eeeeh. I kept confusing Heap and Balanced Tree and AVL Tree. :( Feel horrid about it. I have no one to blame but me. Annoying I am! I really want a B for once in programming. NO more Cs please! And there was this horrid question at the end where they ask to write a recursive function for Bubble Sort, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the freaking question wanted! Was ultra ultra pissed. I swear, if people were allowed to make noise in exam halls, I would so be making scary and whiny noises half the time. argh.

But all that done with, I am free. Pheeeeeeeew.

I am looking forward to tomorrow! Meeting up with Eunice. Maybe we can start discussing our LYMOND PROJECT. Wahaha. And plan for the rest of summer. And I also have to start on the Morocco video; once Aisyah returns me my firewire. And maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get a job. And I can return to Arabic. Wheee. Good times. I think I really want some waffle icecream tomorrow.

I am happy, because THIS IS THE SUMMER TIME. >.<

Nothing imprisons oneself like the exam period. It's a few more days to the end of it all for me but I feel like I can't take it anymore. Just want to freaking fly away. -_- Sometimes, in fact most of the time, I stare at my notes and wonder incessantly how knowing about stirling numbers or derangements or recurrence relations is supposed to help my future somehow. Just. Head-bangingly frustrating not to be able to see how this fits into the big picture. Bleak-o.

Anyway, I felt the urge to type. These urges always come at the most importune moments, like I've mentioned before. And I decided to indulge myself (despite dismal state of revision). Something someone said has stayed with me for days now, and I shall blog about it.

The other day, the family came over to gather and chat, as malay families are wont to do. And my dad, as always, was cracking everyone up every other minute with his insane remarks. Then Kak Shida was like, "My goodness, how is it huh, to have your dad around everyday? Must be crazy." And it made me pause.

How we take things for granted, you know. And the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't imagine not having my dad and his mad humour in my life. I mean, it's not like my dad is funny 24/7; he's incredibly irritating and exasperating too. But the little things that we have around us, that have always been an integral part of our lives, we barely take notice, you know. Until someone points it out, or until we lose it. I mean, I never really realised or acknowledged, before Kak Shida pointed it out, how lucky we are, to have such a ridiculously funny dad. People are actually envious of it.

Like the other time at dinner too, on the rare occasion when my bro, sis and me were all there and we were animatedly having a conversation (I think about the slugs my brother encountered in Taiwan), and Cik An was like fascinated how we could get along so well, whilst her kids barely speak to each other except when necessary. And I was like, "Eh...". Even little things like sibling dynamics shouldn't be taken for granted, you know.

It's nice to learn about the little things you should be grateful for in life.

Okay, I shouldn't be posting essay-like entries at a time like this! gahness. >.< what am I doing.

what is this. Suddenly, my blogging has come back full-force and I can't stop but have an entry every 6 hours or so? eheh.

I'm just feeling happy, I think, that's why. Nekmah just called me to wish me and we talked and she said nice things. She said she'll pray for me; that I'll shine like a jewel through life. (: I FEEL LOVED TODAY.

And I am stroking my NEWS cd lovingly right now. How on earth did they grow on me so much. Ah. Sweet moments should last forever.

Eunice just said my being loveless comment cracked her up. And that it sounded like I'd already turned 40 and needed help from SDU or stg. -__-

Did not really mean it like that. Just that, by the time you're 21, you should have had some real loves eh. Isn't that the general consensus? But not me. Not really. It's not like I'm desperate or anything! I'm just saying. In fact, I much prefer my being this way, I think. Because... when I fall in love, it will be forever...

Wahahaha. Can you tell this nuttiness is a combination of it being my birthday and exam time as well? Nya.