I've been recalling lately, what one of my friends off-handedly said about me, whilst we were deep in our book club discussions --
(and let me quickly proclaim here how much a book club reveals about your friends: things you'd never think to discuss; their deep-seated fears, hopes, and beliefs; their dreams; their opinions of you)
I was trying to explain why our views were different: she was obviously the most practical out of all of us and I conceded that I was very impractical and on the other end of the spectrum, hence our varying outlooks.
then she said, "you're not impractical, you're whimsical!"
she didn't even think I belonged on the spectrum.
I was like, "I'm not even on the spectrum of normal??? How can I not be on the spectrum!"
And then on some days, yes, I see why I am a Nodame.
:(
Ah well, S.
If Nodame can be happy and achieve great things, you can too.
ohmygoodness, W, what are you doing to all of us kdrama viewers!
we can barely hold ourselves together!
I immediately visited tumblr the moment I finished the latest episode,
and yes, I agree with this gif that some people have been sharing;
this is how I look like after every new W episode:
Luckily I am home-alone tonight (sad life of a workaholic-but-actually-kdrama-binger)
so I was exclaiming like crazy over the screen without any qualms.
I am trying to be less incoherent and explain what W is all about to my non-kdrama friends,
but seriously, I was not kidding when I say I don't know how to begin describing it
to encapsulate everything that it is.
SPOILER
Okay, so here's the deal:
We have our female lead, Oh Yeon Joo, a doctor whose dad, Oh Seung Moo, is the creator of a famous comic series called W. In the first episode, we see that Dad is somewhat depressed and apparently wants to just quit his work and stop drawing cartoons; he attempts to kill off everyone's favourite hero in the comic, Kang Chul, so that his comic series will end. (It's like Rowling just letting Harry die while Voldemort lives on, or Dunnett letting Lymond die without vindication -- I would not be able to cope ahah.) Except that Kang Chul would not die. This is where Yeon Joo, for some mysterious reason or other, keeps getting sucked into the universe of W the comic, and ends up always saving Kang Chul, whilst her dad keeps trying to kill him instead! The comic storyline keeps changing of its own accord while Yeon Joo has her adventures with Kang Chul, and Seung Moo cannot do anything about it.
As the drama progresses, we learn that Seung Moo did not initially want to kill Kang Chul; but that he had gradually become afraid of the lack of control over the direction of his story. His story has been acting weird for a while now and he wants to end it. There's a memorable piece from the first episode that I'm remembering now: a quote that goes something like "kill your creation before it overwhelms and kills you".
Yeon Joo starts spending longer and longer in the world of the comic W, and she knows it's crazy, and she knows Kang Chul is a comic character, and soon enough even our intelligent hero learns that he is a comic character -- but heck care to the logic -- we have an OTP, whoooo!
I forget to mention that Kang Chul's life story, i.e. the main plot of W the comic, is a revenge-laden one: he' an ex-Olympic sharpshooter but now a rich-eligible-billionaire on a quest to find the man who murdered his entire family when he was young.
So then -- there's a murderer on the loose! AND GAH. I will stop here because I don't have the energy to explain anymore how Yeon Joo, despite being from the real world, is in danger of being killed by this crazy murderer -- who also by the way, comes to the real world and starts revolting against Seung Moo his creator for wanting to end the comic too. Also, did I mention that Seung Moo himself, as the creator, did not have in mind who he wanted as the murderer in his story? Basically, there is a scary faceless, Nazgul-type cloaked villain, walking around in both worlds. And we have Kang Chul still trying to be hero -- my mind is blown away constantly at every step in this story.
THIS STORY IS NUTS but I am loving it.
Kdrama-watchers are lapping this up because we HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS IS GOING
and it scares the frak out of all of us.
so much love for this story right now.
Saturday, August 13, 2016
So the whole of Singapore has been talking about Schooling and his gold medal since morning.
On the way to work, the cab driver was all,
"Eh, the hospital got TV or not? 9 o'clock you all must stop work and watch!"
When my parent participants started strolling in for the workshop,
all of them were super excited,
and all we could talk about was Schooling;
so we watched it on Toggle together.
And screamed together when he won!
Honestly, I probably wouldn't have witnessed it if I wasn't running this workshop.
Which makes me extra sad that next week is the last week; I actually will be very happy to have my Saturdays back, but -- this was a wonderful workshop run. And I do love love love working with parents and their kids, because parent education is actually number one when it comes to making a change in children's lives. It's so great to have parents really get it, you know -- how speech therapy works, and how they can be empowered to help.
On a fairly separate note: God, help me be brave and strong and continue to strive to goodness regardless of the reality of my situation. Amin.
current kpop obsession BTS led me to this
unbelievable video of a dance cover by a Taekwando group:
BTS themselves dancing already so awesome I basically repeat-watch one million times.
My pattern in recent times has been this: work, work, work, korean drama, sleep, work, work, work, korean drama, homework, sleep, work, work, work, korean drama, homework, sleep, work, work, work, work, work, work.
It's terrible, I know, but that's what's it been like, mostly. Well, of course I exaggerate, and I do squeeze in occasional family get-togethers and friend meet-ups; but I feel a general interminable exhaustion. Work is like a mega big boulder on my shoulders right now -- and maybe, hopefully, when I pass my clinic training (insya Allah! because things seem to be going okay, Alhamdulillah~) and finish running my workshop, things will calm and I can return to some semblance of a decent human being.
Right now though, in between work, korean drama is my soma --
and can I please rave about W - Two Worlds:
a drama so unprecedented in its awesomeness, I choke up.
It's fandom and meta and romance and action and mystery and dare I say, philosophy;
and ohmygod twists at every corner,
and ohmygod hilarious stuff that make me want to shriek out loud in laughter
-- how do I summarise how this drama is.
Maybe these gifs can give an idea:
Our hero is a fictional character but our heroine is real,
(but actually, you know they're both fictional -- ehehehhhh whutttt)
and our hero realises this at some point, discusses it and grapples with his existential crisis--
way to blow our minds, writers.
I am terrified of where this is supposed to go though,
because unless there is some other mind-bending warp going around,
I don't see how our hero and heroine can realise their OTP
seeing as how they live in completely different worlds.
(Ohmygoodness, this is bringing back memories of DM of my teenage years.)
This is an unsubbed clip (hopefully it will be subbed proper at some point!)
but it's my absolute favourite bit from the drama so far
-- for the sheer amount of crack in it; ohmygod I couldn't stop laughing.
Here he tells her to choose which romance line
they should make for the direction of the story now:
(i) a cinderella-type romance complete with a fancy ball
The other thing that's so incredible about Dunnett's writing is that she never recycles an emotional punch. Each time she breaks your heart it's in a completely new way, even if it involves the same characters. ... I was talking with another friend of mine who's also reading this series for the first time, and we were saying how it feels like we've spent our entire lives preparing to properly love Francis Crawford. I don't know if I can express it better than that, because I feel like this book just fully cracked open my heart.
yessss. I know I have a book club, and it's, insya Allah, expanding in good ways heheee, and I am excited ((: but the day when we discuss Lymond will be a milestone. Not to mention when I finally get to King Hereafter and the Niccolo series.
You know, people tag me as being a Harry Potter fan, which I am, yes, definitely -- but I am a fan of so many other things, not the least of which is Lymond (I mean, Lymond rivals Harry Potter at the top of the list, come on) -- and well, sometimes I get annoyed when people think they know me when they don't, thank you very much. Okay, I don't know where that came from :P
I figured I should just sit and start typing. There are precious few moments when time coincides with mood, so I should just do it.
You know, I won't claim to be a writer. Professional writers earn money; I obviously don't. I write in obscurity. And I write without structure or aim. But I know what it feels like to write properly, and it's not about having time. Well, at least not just time alone. It's about time, and flow. It's about being in a mood, a certain frame of mind that allows the smooth channeling of thoughts into tangible words on a screen, on paper. And that flow, that mood -- it doesn't come on command.
Just earlier this week, I was talking over with a colleague about the apparent lack of time to enjoy my creative pursuits. Being the ISTJ-personality type (I have deduced heheh), she started breaking down my hours in the day for me, and proving to me that I have a good hour or two every day for doing whatever I wanted. (Which now, as I think on it, leaves my friends who are mothers zero time for themselves -- I don't blame them for never being able to blog about our books.) But see, what she failed to get is that -- I can't just plop down for 2 hours and then write. That hasn't been how I've written all the years before; I simmer, I kind of mull around by myself for hours, and then get into a mood, and then I write. And I write without concern for time, food, or persons. (Which is probably ridiculous...)
The problem then appears to be that my mind hasn't been in a reflective/writing mood for extended periods -- hence my lack of writing proper in general -- and results in the attrition of my general psychological well-being. Because my writing is the space I work through my confusing thoughts, my conflicting feelings, and life's heartaches and joys. Without it, I feel like I'm bottling up a whole jar of pain and unclarified ideas. How on earth do other people live life without doing this? Don't the rest of you all have messes inside your hearts and minds? Maybe some people just talk it out. Some people paint, or do comic art --
haha, oh heart.
So yes, I need to write. But I feel a pressure however, in some ways, not to. Like if I could only just be less dreamy, less drifty, less me perhaps -- I would be more accomplished, focused, goal-oriented.
Balance truly is the elusive ideal.
Anyway, the only reason I am posting today is because I am on sick leave and I actually have time on my hands. Again, time supposed to be better spent working on research proposals or studying for my clinic maybe, and time to rest -- but I needed to do this. To resume doing a little of this.
Last night, our ladies' gathering had a nice little sharing at one point that resulted in pretty much tears all round -- because we talked about how everyone has their own private challenges, but then never to despair because only the best of us are tested, and we are tested to the degree of our mettle and substance. And how can you even think that Allah and Rasul s.a.w. would ever abandon you? Ever, ever, ever. If we would only just think on that, everyone, we will all be okay, and stay strong, and be hopeful for the clouds of goodness waiting to rain on us some day.
