(:

I'm properly excited now to re-visit a well-loved place.

Scotland, I heart you more than ever.

Sing me a song of a lass that is gone
Say, could that lass be I?
Merry of soul, she sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.
Billow and breeze, islands and seas,
Mountains of rain and sun...
All that was good, all that was fair,
All that was me is gone.

---

and ah, anticipating Season 2! this show is so pretty (for the place and the people) and epic. I've talked it over with E, and I conceded that it has not shined extraordinarily as literature (and I am only ~40% through the book; obviously I went on ahead with the TV version, eheh) but dang, it makes exciting TV! Also, it has an OTP to root for, and I'm obviously a sucker for that.



Hmm
I'm waiting on some other awesome show comebacks this year:
Prison Break, for one! (eeps, I loved Michael Scofield.)

And Gilmore Girls! which I don't watch --
but even I want to know if Jess and Rory will finally get together. :P

TO FORGIVE IS...

To begin
and there is so much to forgive:
for one, your parents, one and two,
out of whose dim haphazard coupling
you sprang forth roaring, indignantly alive.
For this, whatever else followed,
innocent and guilty, forgive them.
If it is day, forgive the sun
its white radiance blinding the eye;
forgive also the moon for dragging the tides,
for her secrets, her half heart of darkness;
whatever the season, forgive it its various 
assaults -- floods, gales, storms 
of ice -- and forgive its changing;
for its vanishing act, stealing what you love
and what you hate, indifferent,
forgive time; and likewise forgive its fickle
consort, memory, which fades
the photographs of all you can't remember;
forgive forgetting, which is chaste
and kinder than you know;
forgive your age and the age you were
when happiness was afire in your blood
and joy sang hymns in the trees;
forgive, too, those trees, which have died;
and forgive death for taking them,
inexorable as God; then forgive God
His terrible grandeur, His unspeakable
Name; forgive, too, the poor devil
for a celestial fall no worse than your own.
When you have forgiven whatever is of earth,
of sky, of water, whatever is named,
whatever remains nameless,
forgive, finally, your own sorry self,
clothed in temporary flesh
the breath and blood of you
already dying.

Dying, forgiven, now you begin.

-- Pamela Wagner

This made me cry, snot and all.
I had to put aside the reading,
and spend a good while repeatedly swiping at tears and thinking,
and then, now,
blogging.

I'm thinking... perhaps,
part of the reason for suffering and pain in the world,
is so as to engender beauty,
like this.

This is a happy post, on a happy night! 

just to remind and prove to myself, 

the constant ups and downs of life -- 

they are to be expected.

And when life dips into a valley, for sure,

a peak is up ahead, insya Allah.

Had a nice meet-up with J, that culminated with a nice heart-to-heart chat at the end of the night. 

And I am remembering beautiful, awesome, funny things to be thankful for.

Like the time I was trying to figure out what a phrase meant 

whilst reading HP in Arabic

cause I really just couldn't find the root verb --

only to discover it translated to Viktor Krum! HAHA.

And the time I marveled at my class for being so awesome

and the best support system I could imagine

as a growing professional in my field

and this is 3 years out of school.

GOD I LOVE MY CLASS SO MUCH

AND WE NEED TO HAVE A MEET-UP BADLY

My family indulging ourselves in silly, private jokes

I can't even remember anymore how goose came to mean good! haha.

And Arashi putting a smile on my face!

(:

Read this recently: The Differences Between Happiness and Meaning in Life

...even though meaning-making may be associated with negative emotions in the moment, it may contribute to greater resiliency and well-being in the longer-term.


I've been fairly torn and confused about whether it's a good thing or not to be equally negative as well as positive here, feeling pressured about having to put up a strong and positive attitude to things and life -- being adult, does it not apparently mean that you've got things figured out? That you've got two stable feet on the ground, so you bloody-well have no business wallowing about anything or being angsty at all. Or having existential crises at every other turn in life.

But at least this article is saying how a range of emotion is necessary for personal development and growth. So yes, to be constantly upbeat and happy on this blog is not only deceitful, but detrimental to well-being.

I have horrible days at least half the time! And other days that are wonderful.

And I need to get adequate sleep because I am guessing that it's the reason my fuse is getting shorter and shorter these days. And also the reason this post is so disjointed and incoherent.

I don't think I've felt more in my life... 

how I want to be away from other people.

And be alone.

on looking back at moments, 

I really am happiest when roaming by my lonesome

not having to explain myself to people

or be in a certain way or behave as expected.

And it's not like I hate particular persons or anything --

I'm just tired.

I am missing my time with E in Cameron Highlands

when all we did was move at sloth-pace, 

roam around nature armed with a camera,

having awesome food like scones, strawberries, and cream,

and enjoying the quietness of things.