I'm afraid I'm going to sound bitchy in this post. :( and I'll probably regret it.

Oh noes, how terrible -- but I feel compelled this moment to give this rant space.



So, occasionally, I have bouts of wanting to make myself pretty -- being a girl and all, right. It usually coincides with having acquired some exorbitantly-priced shawl or some other piece of clothing. And then I go hunt for a way to wear my shawl; and recently, this made me stumble across make-up videos. And being a minimal make-up girl with zero experience, what I saw just made me drop my jaw. The amount of effort people go to! I mean, seriously! For everyday supposed basic looks. And the amount of... how should I put it, fakeness. That's what gets me.

It's like -- people end up looking so different. I suppose this is what people mean by there are no ugly girls, only lazy ones (like me, meh). But I feel annoyed by it! There are these people who with make-up have amazing eyebrows, enlarged eyes, high noses, high cheekbones -- and I'm like, >:\ hello, fake! Like, how do we appreciate real beauty then? Like okay, you see a gorgeous lady right, and then you see her again after she washes her face and you go, Ehhhh, where did that face go? Don't you feel cheated??? I feel cheated, and I'm a girl. I don't know then about the men whose women wear make-up to look gorgeous. Honestly, I feel like asking around to do a survey, haha. Do you like it? Do you want it? And then at home when you see your wife she has a different face after a bath? HAHA. This reminds me of a Japanese variety show once of a man who reportedly had not ever seen his wife without make-up because she never went around without it, even at home. (This behaviour is probably bordering on disease.)

I think I may have had a related discussion with my sister on this -- where we were thinking there should be a distinction between being beautiful and being excellent at grooming yourself. A beautiful individual even if dragged in the mud and wearing a sack would still look beautiful, right? And beauty does not really fade with age; you just become an older, beautiful person. (An excellent example I've recently revisited is Keanu Reeves, heheh). Youth gives everyone a false perception of beauty, I feel. Youth, and style. And make-up, apparently.

Anyway, haiyah, I think I should stop this ridiculous and pointless train of thought on outward beauty. It's sad though, how women go on about trying to be pretty -- because, what's that line -- Women work on their looks, not their brains, because they know men are stupid, not blind. Ahahah. Hopefully, not all men.

Favourite kid from the clinic this week goes to...


(while I do a standard language assessment)

Me: This man teaches. He is a teacher. This man sings, he is a... ?

Kid: ... Cowboy!



>.<

HAHA.

I can't -- I just, I can't do work at home. I can't! Not to mention I have a splitting headache. How do other people seem to do it. I keep bringing back reports to write but I just can't bring myself to look at them.

Completely random, but I really have no energy to be coherent.

Also been catching up with Supes Season 9, and when I look back on the Winchesters from Season 1 

-- I'm like, ohmygosh, you guys were so young!

I feel like I'm growing old(er) with the Winchesters.

too exhausted to write!

though I do have something I was thinking about on the way home tonight...

Is it okay to have biases? Or is it the dangerous slippery slope to being discriminatory and prejudiced? Is bias in fact equivalent to prejudice?

Dictionary.com says so:

bias: 

a particular tendency or inclination, especially one that prevents unprejudiced consideration of a question; prejudice.

But don't we all have biases? For instance, I have realised I have a clear bias for people who read. I realise I value their opinions more. Does that make me a bigot against people who don't read? Does that make me a snob?

:O

bigot:

a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.

Define intolerant.

I think this is a topic that needs a revisit at another time.

I've been mulling over this wonderful quote recently, and thinking how lovely it is.

If you have a choice to be right or to be compassionate; choose being compassionate over being right. When you are compassionate, you are always right.

Shaykh Muhammad Bin Yahya

I recently re-read the famous article by Dorothy Sayers, The Lost Tools of Learning, because I've started on Mortimer Adler's How to Read A Book. And I keep wishing I had all the time in the world just to sit and study and be with books, and knowledge. I'm not really complaining, honest; I think my job is good most days. But my dream situation would be me with my books in a tower, and me surfacing to do therapy on a maximum of two or three clients a day. Haha! Because even with my kids, I like having the time to analyse cases.

But I suppose that would be quite selfish. Hummmm.

Just because!

This is Maki, who grows ever gorgeous (and has apparently learnt to sound good speaking in English!), and because it's Japan. I wonder if I will ever see you again, Nihon, much as I love you.

And these five guys who will go down in entertainment history as the best friends on tv ever.
(unless it's all orchestrated, of course, which would break hearts all over Japan and beyond)

---

There came one and knocked at the door of the Beloved. 
And a voice answered and said, 'Who is there?' 
The lover replied, 'It is I.' 
'Go hence,' returned the voice; 'there is no room within for thee and me.' 
Then came the lover a second time and knocked 
and again the voice demanded, 'Who is there?' 
He answered, 'It is thou. 
'Enter,' said the voice, 'for I am within.

— Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Something that I realise gives light to what I posted previously from Lymond:

I am thou thy selfe.

Favourite line from today: "Car is so cool."

When your kid can't say much, and he says that -- ohmygod, GOLD.

---

Been listening more to Tim Winters's lectures (mostly cause I have exhausted every inch of cyberspace that is related to Shaykh Hamza), and had a nice reminder:

The believer is happy in the moment. La khaufun 'alaihim wa laa hum yahzanun. He does not fear the future, nor does he grieve the past.

I think that shall be my running mantra for the rest of this year.

---


LYMOND SPOILERS


I don't know if it's cause I'm much older or what, but the subtle yet insane romance in Checkmate is killing me.

It's to the point of ridiculousness!



Their letters to each other for instance.

Francis's letter to Philippa ends with,

"I have tried not to reach you, in this way or another, by any disfiguring sentiment. You know, I think, that my feelings on this are quite different.

I am thou thy selfe."


And Philippa ends her reply to that letter with,

"I have told you the work of my hands. The place of my thoughts you may know by now. For yours, the doors of this kingdom is open by day and by night if you will lend them to me."


It's like, it is not apparent at first how in love they are, but heck, are you listening to what they're saying to each other? It's ridiculous how romantic it is! They keep up appearances too -- he tells her what's happening in the battlefield, what needs to be done etc etc and she tells him what's happening on the estate etc etc and then, they simply finish their letters like that. RIDICULOUS; it makes me want to clutch my head in incredulity. This is how gorgeous and beautiful romance is written, people! It's in the subtleties and the little things.

I badly need to finish this book so I can stop this sap. Beautiful sap, but sap still.

I should have a favourite line of the week from my days in the clinic. This past week (before I caught my first flu bug this year from my germ-infested kiddies -- dang, it was a good flu-free stretch I was having), my favourite comes from one of my long-time clients (wah, I can have long-time clients already -- how long have I been doing therapy again?) who was struggling to string a request and ended up saying:

"May I... giraffe?"

I totally just laughed, so cute! Mummy also laughed with me. Both of us wanted her to say something other than her standard "I want ____" which she is too good at already; she started off well with her "May I..." and then she paused and stared at me with her great, big eyes. I could see her searching for the words but then she just heck care, and said the important word -- giraffe! -- for the giraffe puzzle piece I was withholding. At least she knows how to be functional, hehe.

Oh it's work, and mostly I don't want so much work, but some kiddies are wonderful to have.