Blogging juices running out. Finally... otona no ka...?

I still have the same running thoughts though. One that has been making its rounds in my head is a memory of S and me at City Hall MRT station, while we sat on the steps leading up to the shopping mall, and we were waiting and chatting. I remember telling her that you know, it's great, I think this field is where I'd finally find my place and niche, and in turn I asked her how satisfying her work was and her future would be doing what she was doing -- and I remember her looking at me with a half smile, and saying: how she was bigger than anything she did.

It made me stop then, because oh my goodness, isn't it true. Dear old friend, some of the things you have said with such nonchalant wisdom, stay with me.

I think deep down, we all know this, but we're so insecure, we latch onto man-made labels to give ourselves worth. But truly, life is best lived if you don't box yourself into any imaginary boundaries -- professional or otherwise -- but rather live with great purposes in mind, be it to better the self or the community and world at large. And then truly, the world is your oyster.

In relation to this, I remember a younger girl I'd met when I was doing that brief research stint at IBN: she was all hard-working and trying to gain credits so she'd be a shoo-in to medical school. I just conversationally asked her, "What if you don't get to become a doctor?" In response, she widened her eyes and gave me an are-you-insane-that-is-not-an-option look. I added, "I'm sure there'll be other ways you can still do great things and help the community..." At which point, she decided the conversation had to end. 

Seriously, isn't it that if there is awesomeness, awesomeness will shine forth regardless? And that really, the ultimate goal is to be an awesome human being.

I hope I make sense. 

Sleep calls, and tomorrow's mountain load of work awaits.

It is a life skill to be able to both zoom out to look at the big picture, and zoom in to examine the details. 

Game of Thrones SPOILERS

Because I never got this far into the book, I didn't know this was coming.

I was quite traumatized. That was one of the best execution scenes I've ever seen. How the whole thing, plus Sean Bean's acting chops, were put together -- to show the sad end of this honourable man, just, it takes my breath away. :'( I wish he'd shouted into the crowd instead about the evil, lying, Lannisters, and how Geoffrey is a child of incest and not a Baratheon, heir to the throne; but of course he confessed instead to a crime he did not commit, to save his daughters. Goodness, I cried like a baby. The best man, maybe in the entire realm, is dead. 

The quite unbelievable thing about this whole series is that somehow, only the House of Stark appears to have honour. Every other individual saves its own skin. And what is the message here, huh -- that honour and nobility necessarily brings with it bloodshed and suffering? :( Nobility is a rare and beautiful thing.

this is quite cool! this guy basically makes covers of famous pop songs, 

but imbues them with spiritual meaning. 

And now I
Know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life
Who feel the way I feel when I'm
With You, With You, With You, With You, Ya Rahman!

Little girls are totes adorbs, as Lydia Bennet would say. (: 

They talk so much more than little boys, play with others more, negotiate more, ask you the most hilarious questions, and are so so sweet. Little boys bounce around too much, it's exhausting (and most of my therapy kids are boys! no surprise). Although Abbas yesterday was so cute and gave away his goodie bag candies to us cause he said he didn't like to eat them.

---

It's a comfort to find super-veteran speech language therapists recounting their first clients and saying they came out of their first session in tears. Because honestly, at times, after a session, I'm like, I can't do this. It's too hard and insane. So I can believe there's hope for me to become awesome still, and all this failure and cluelessness right now is part of the natural journey. I saw a video of a therapist talking about how her first client was a Down's syndrome child with, omg, a cleft palate and severe hearing loss, and she left the room to cry and promptly announce that she quit, haha. Except the doctor was an awesome man: he gave her a box of tissues, told her to compose herself, get back in, and throw her textbook knowledge out the window. Just observe the child and learn.

The past week, I had at least three meltdowns in session, where there was serious screaming. One boy was screaming on the floor and refused to get up, seriously. The other one screamed the moment you move any toy an inch from its original position. Neither of these are speech and language problems per se, but kids come with a myriad of issues and we have to deal with them anyway. When they finally leave, I feel like clawing my cheeks.

Failures are the doors to success, yes.

The moment when you truly realize that this life is only temporary.

It is always the case that when you thought you knew something, you find out more about it, and then realise, no, you didn't really know it. And it applies to every aspect of life and learning, I think.




Like, my goodness, my therapy sessions -- O.O

Every time I think I have prepared enough, that I have it all in my head, that I've seen this done before, I see a high complexity case, and... crash and burn. The learning curve is so steep, it's almost a vertical cliff and I'm clinging on for dear life. Subhanallah, this life is really a place of struggling.

My personal reminder = every day is a struggle for a better self.

If I'd known less about The Mortal Instruments, I might give this a pass. But because this is the movie adaptation of Cassandra Claire's best-selling series and CC was someone (HarryPotter fanfiction writer) I used to follow with such devotion in my younger years, I have to check this out. I never got round to reading the book, but I am still nonetheless fascinated. It's really kind of cool that she used to be this online persona that we gravitated toward and whose writing enthralled us (plagiarism aside).

But the biggest point of watching is of course, the fact that Jace, by all impressions, is simply DT!Draco by another name, in another verse. I'd probably dissect him from the very first scene, and compare every minute detail.

---

I love this! 

Nouman Ali Khan says, "You all should be happy! So that others will ask, why are you so happy? And you go, ...La ila ha ilallah"

:D Muhammad Rasulullah.

It's really getting bad -- family dinner tonight consisted of us totally thrashing PAP to bits about Population White Paper and wanting to migrate somewhere decent, and then concluding there isn't any place much great to go anyway, and besides -- I think, why be the very thing that irritates me about Singapore right now? I don't want to be a foreigner crowding some other people's country. Seriously, honestly, I have many non-SG friends -- but this situation is truly upsetting a lot of people and stirring up xenophobic feelings. Please let's not become Dubai, a place I have decided I dislike. Can we please be a country about  building a Singaporean community and not a machine concerned about making enough money? Priorities, please.

And I like this blog post: Rape of our nation.

---

on a happy note, meet-up earlier today!