hello, weekend! I have missed you. And yes, I understand now how you are best friends with all who slog in the system. (Though technically, being only semi-working, I have stuff to study/work on during the weekend, ugggh.)

This morning I chatted online with a friend for a little -- and her life, gosh, I feel so jealous. I don't feel compelled to elaborate, but basically: that she's close to God, and when you're close to God, miracles happen.

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SPOILERS!

Let me go back to reviewing The Princess' Man which I fangirl-ed about numerous times previously. Like I said, its ending was a bit problematic for me, but the thing is -- the OTP was unbelievable. And it would have won even if every other element of the story failed (which wasn't the case at all). The pairing was basically the most agonized love story I've ever witnessed in a drama. And I have had my fair share of reading or watching painful stories.

Step aside, Romeo and Juliet; what do you know of being trapped in an ill-fated love. Seung Yu and Se Ryeong went through hell and more; and they're not stupid teenagers who ended up killing themselves! How awesome is that. They're a smart and gorgeous pair of young adults who, because of evil circumstances, had their just-budding love slowly die under the greater forces of politics, family loyalty and personal morals. Off the top of my head, I really can't think of a love in fiction (or otherwise) that's as painful as this.

Okay, Lymond and Philippa are pretty insane too, but I don't know, the situation didn't seem as hellish as that of Seung Yu and Se Ryeong. Lymond was being whiny and all "You don't want me. I am bad for you, a bastard son full of disgrace. I am a hunchback whelped in the gutter." and then Philippa decided to join him in the gutter; but then she's like, "I'm sorry, I've created another problem for us. I can't be with you... as a woman." And poor Lymond's all broody and not complete -- it's a lot of personal melodrama between the two of them. Which can be big issues on its own, don't get me wrong, but it seems petty when compared to the pain that Seung Yu and Se Ryeong faced. Seung Yu basically almost went off the mental edge hating her so hard and loving her so hard at the same time, because he couldn't bear it that her father killed his family. He's also driven by his integrity and need to see justice for all the wrongs. And she's all like, "I understand. So please, I don't mind if I die by your hand. I would die a thousand times if it gives you peace." LIKE SERIOUSLY, bash our hearts to bits, drama, why don't you. And Se Ryeong can't help it if she still loves her evil father, because dang it, you only have one father, no matter how evil! Even if you know your father is wrong, how do you bring yourself to kill him?


Here's the original sound track for the drama with accompanying tragic scenes of this doomed pairing.

It is ridiculous how much I get cheered up by a good drama. I am heavily influenced by my current favourite blogger of course; but seriously, I walk out of work, and I check youtube and when I realise there are english subs, I'm like YES!!! and grinning away in public. How awesome is fandom, huh. It takes only ~ 24 hours to sub an episode.

And the current drama - Love Rain - is proving to be another awesome one (but it's still early, so perhaps I should bite my tongue). It's amazing and deep on so many levels, and it breaks and heals my heart at alternate scenes. *wibble* It's so idyllic and romantic but then it takes this very real turn and makes you think about big questions and life and choices. It's such a smart piece! I'm at your mercy, drama writers.

I walk home (and I sometimes think I can walk the route home blind), and I think and I mull -- and I think that over the years, with some maturity, I finally learnt to love myself. It feels like such a comfort; like resting on something soft and fluffy. There's a security there: that even if others hurt me, at least I won't hurt myself.

Okay, I sound disconnected up there; welcome to my brain.

I'm learning to live life one day at a time. (:

hehe, but taking it one swallow at a time (my brain is on dysphagia overload!) makes me a calm and grateful human; life is far too good to complain.

Rasulullah s.a.w. said, "Whoever is given and he is thankful, when he is oppressed he forgives, and when he oppresses others he seeks forgiveness; inner peace is indeed for them and they are amongst the people who are guided."

God, make me of the ones You love.

Happiness is happiness of the beloved.

Spent the day in Johor with my parents and my uncle's family -- which means I have lots of work to catch up with tmr! :\ I thought it'd be better if I opted out, but then... who deserves your company most? Your mother, your mother, your mother, and then your father, right? Got my mummy settled with more of her iPhone accessories: her screen protector and her cheap-o Kate Spade cover, hahaha. She is now thoroughly obsessed with her new limb i.e. smart phone. At dinner, I was the one watching both of my parents poring over their iPhones while I zonked out and tsk-tsked in disbelief!

Facebook sign in still an evasive task at the moment. And within an hour, I will miss saying happy birthday to my oldest friend in the world. Oh man. !!! I suck.

Also, announcing that I am officially a fangirl of this fangirl, Mousie. She makes me feel like I can totally live a normal life, and even one day get married and have kids, and still be a fangirl!

I recently signed myself out of fb because I was trying to give my mum a tutorial of fb, and then after I was done with all of that, I realised I couldn't sign back in! Because I'd thoroughly forgotten my password! And the retrieval of said forgotten password is made more difficult by the fact that I use my old email for my fb account, which I haven't accessed in a long time either, and I'd forgotten the password for that too! Hopeless I am. So right now, I can't access both my hotmail or facebook, though am in the process of attempting to obtain my hotmail password first, then maybe fb will follow. But maybe you know, this is all a sign, eheh... Goodbye, fb?

Sometimes, I think I couldn't care less. But there are some people I do like keeping in touch with. So let's see how it goes.

I heart the song! Plus the unique storyline -- a 70s tragic love story, that then repeats itself in the future.

After ending work today and finally plodding back to the speech therapy office with my CE, we found the crammed little space that is the ST office crowded as it usually is -- seriously, more than 12 STs in a space perhaps only slightly larger than my bedroom! Then out of the blue, while the various STs were busy wrapping up for the day, someone who had a ukelele out, started playing and singing,

"I'm so tired, tired. Everyday so tired, tired..."

Hahaha! It was so funny! XD Everyone had unconsciously paused at precisely that time amidst the fluttering, so we all heard it -- god, so amusing, and it accurately captured our state at 5.30 pm. It totally made my day.

Somebody should really stop me from this korean drama wave I'm on. Danger, danger da yo!

I finished The Princess's Man, and it now sits in my top favourite kdramas list (together with Iljimae and City Hunter). I had an issue with the ending though - it's a bit of an anticlimax. But the middle was just too great to relegate it to a bad drama list. The chemistry was also pretty insane.

And now, I've started Love Rain, which is currently airing. :\ It really doesn't help that I can find it online relatively easily and also watch it on trains!!! It makes my journeys to work bearable. It has become like my soma (read: Aldous Huxley's Brave New World).

And Love Rain, named after the song a guy writes for a girl he says he doesn't love -- yes, I watch more of twisted, complicated relationships. This guy needs to be slapped upside the head for being a big stupid idiot. Stupid is stupid is STUPID!!!!!!!!! The girl should really throw heavy stuff at him.

I cannot take anymore of idiotic behaviour.

I MUST STOP WATCHING THESE EMO STUFFS. Maybe after placement, I'll get some sanity back.

:( heartbreaking! This drama is killing me. But thank goodness for our lovely heroine. She's always trying to do something to save the situation/her beau. I get a headache looking at how hard she's thinking and how zombified she's becoming without the sleep. I'm wondering how she hasn't gone ballistic yet; I would have taken a knife and started slashing at all the evil people around me, hahaha. Hey, even our hero already had a breakdown okay. Everybody has a limit. And when she finally creeps at night to get a sword, I'm like YES!!!!! Finally! She's going to resort to violence. XD HAHAHA. I couldn't take it anymore. If I were her, I'd say, Abuji, what's the use of me living if my whole family is like this?

Yay, 1 week down. :) And it was way better than I envisioned so far. I also have a language therapy session to plan for next week, and am actually feeling quite psyched for it!

I love Fridays. I hope it's going to become a pattern that the work week ends on a positive note. To commemorate a happy Friday, this I saw recently, hehe:



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On a separate note, I've started on a korean drama. (You know this is going to be a fangirling section!) I've been able to catch it on my phone too while on squeezy train journeys. It's last year's historical period piece called The Princess' Man, and it has hooked me in since the first episode.

It's so heart-wrenching and like, I keep thinking, fate, why you so cruel!!! As is typical of the korean drama containing coincidences and entanglements a'la Bollywood style, a group of young people all related in some way to the workings of the royal governance, start to develop a jagazillion conflicts with each other once they start stepping into the arena of adult reality and politics. When they're young, relationships, friendships and also romances, bud and bloom in innocence and then later it all gets shattered, when politics and adult loyalties creep into their lives. :( I felt like bawling.

I just finished watching this bit, where our hero protagonist tells his best friend: "Don't worry, let's ignore the complicated world of our fathers." And you know it's like the last time they're going to be on the same uncomplicated side before everything falls apart, :'( cause his best friend is already feeling torn inside by his father telling him that they're planning a political move against his best friend's family and they're planning his marriage to the girl his friend secretly loves! Like WHAT THE FRAK! WHY YOU SO EVIL WORLD. Please don't make his best friend evil! I really really like him so far. SO poor thing, and you can tell he thinks the girl is awesome too so how can he help but feel affection for her. And he can't bring himself to tell his best friend anyway, because our hero and heroine who are secretly in love and kept apart by evil fate belong to a Rome and Juliet situation because of their Montague-Capulet level family/political feud. OMG, I have a feeling that if they don't make the best friend evil, they'll make him die at some point! :'(

And yes, the female lead has grown on me; I love her. This always indicates a good sign that a drama will remain lovable for me.

On top of the evil politics, there's a freaking love PENTAGON, I swear. K-dramas usually have at least a rectangle. When really, come on, love can be complicated enough when it's just two people, please; but apparently the korean drama writers don't seem to think it's quite as exciting.

 

I've been feeling like a coiled spring.

My release: I imagine the edge of a cliff. and screaming, Ganbarou! 

The root of contentment is love.

omg, omg, omg! what -- I didn't know they were making this into a movie, not that I was ever a Rurouni Kenshin fan, or anything, but I had heard of it and how awesome it was, and this seems waaay cool and awesome, that I am only short of physically flailing!!!



It stars Takeru Sato, whom I've always had a hard time deciding if I liked or not, but he does seem quite awesome in this trailer. Excitingz! The hairs on my cheek are standing.

Oh I do love heroes with swords, if you didn't already know. And all that sacrifice and death for honour and love.

And yes, I know I have been fangirling -- let me indulge before stress begins again.

Occasionally, I come across a blogger who, dang it, sounds like me that I am positive I know her somehow, haha, but she is one of those who gives zero access to her identity -- so, that really, I actually have no idea. This person likes Lymond and J-dramas and the Draco Trilogy (omgz!), and it made my brain go into weird overdrive wondering if her LJ username sounds the least bit familiar. Or maybe it's a common thing to like all those three separate things at once?

Anyway, I have decided that I need to read Dorothy Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey series, because of the supposed parallels between Lymond and Lord Peter.

Oh Lymond, how you have destroyed me, you have no idea.



And the same blogger reflected on Draco from the trilogy: (this cracked me up!)

I feel old. I used to love this stuff and eat it up with a spoon but now I feel attacked by overzealous adjectives - it's so busy. It makes it feel overheated. One doesn't have to be a follower of uber-terse Mr. Hemingway but it feels as if a thesaurus exploded in there. Moreover, probably because I am a decade older, Draco is not angsty and supercool any more - I just want him to. stop. talking.

Yeah, yeah, your evil abusive father has poisoned you so you are dying, the world is about to be destroyed, and your love life resembles a hexagon or an episode of Passions. But can you stop overemoting all over the place? Stoicism and quiet are admirable traits but I am not even daring to hope for those - I just want a break in the non-stop stream of overwrought emo - doesn't it get tiring to be in constant cosmic anguish?

He is ridiculously high-maintenance and I have low tolerance for that, and my tolerance gets lower and lower as I get older. Either he or CC's Harry make awful boyfriends. I think by the end I only like Ginny, and I think that is mainly because she forced it out of Draco that he lurves her forever and ever as his souuuuuuumate, had sex with him, and then ditched in the morning because they both have way more growing up and therapy and ducttape on Draco's mouth to do before they hook up for good. That is about the only sensible thing anyone ever did in that entire trilogy. 

So maybe she's right, maybe she does deserve respect
Maybe she walks around feeling like a superhero with that scarf dangling from her neck
Maybe nobody is forcing her to wear it,
Maybe she would never leave home without it,
And maybe she don't care what people think, cause most opinions ain't even valid
Maybe she feels free; maybe she has peace of mind
And maybe she'll give you a piece of her mind if you step out of line,
Maybe she isn't perfect, but maybe she's trying
Maybe she is just taking things one day at a time
Maybe she laughs and maybe she cries
And maybe you would be surprised at everything she keeps inside
Maybe she hears every single word said by those cowards
Maybe she has no problem defying all those who doubt her
Maybe she is a warrior and the silence is getting louder
Maybe she wears that shield cause every single day is a battle
Maybe she is more than the skin she is in,
Maybe we should start learning how to love what's within
Maybe God only knows all the places she has been
But maybe she comes back to Him, again and again
Maybe she's not afraid to die, just afraid not to live
Maybe I am not worthy of everything she can give
Maybe she is kind, sweet, pure, gentle and suitable
And maybe, just maybe she is beautiful.


I like this bit especially: Maybe she's not afraid to die, just afraid not to live


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I have a few days till placement starts. And I shall strive to be on task and excellent and curious and most importantly, positive!


I was recently inspired by Lauren Booth (Tony Blair's sister-in-law who famously turned Muslim) who described how she is always known as Miss Upside, cause she sees the bright side of everything. And when she covered Palestine as a journalist, she met the most amazing Muslims who, more than her, found joy in the worst circumstances. Their world may be torn apart by war, but they were the ones who welcomed strangers into their homes, and had big smiles on their faces, despite the fact that their families were broken or missing. I felt so ashamed; how do I compare.

Alamak, my paper is tomorrow; this advice should have come sooner! And it has one of my favourite doas (I've been looking for the arabic script for this...).

A bit panicky right now because I don't know how much detail I need for tomorrow's paper! and "what ifs" are clamouring my mind. :s

from the beauty of islam