Weekend, where have you gone! D: I barely rested.

Today, I thought of Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird. Scout asked him why he was defending a black man against the wishes of the town, and he simply said, "You have to live with yourself, before you live with anyone else."

I pray that I don't become someone I dislike.

On something else lovely:

‘Aisha raḍyAllāhu ‘anha and the Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam would use code language with each other denoting their love. She asked the Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam how he would describe his love for her. The Prophet Muhammad answered, saying: “Like a strong binding knot.” The more you tug, the stronger it gets, in other words.

Every so often ‘Aisha would playfully ask, “How is the knot?” The Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam would answer, “As strong as the first day (you asked).”

<3

I can dream, no?

I didn't know until the past sunday that "Wa man takun bi Rasulillahi nusratuhu..." which we always read is from the famous Qasidah Burdah.

And these days, when I rush in between assessment sessions to a corner of the staff hub, where a little prayer corner had been erected, I keep remembering the story of Rasulullah s.a.w. calling Bilal to make the azan: "Arihna, Ya Bilal."

Isn't it amazing. Give us our respite, Ya Bilal. That's what it means. And when your life starts becoming a  hectic blur of events and chasing paper, it only becomes clearer that of course, prayer time is rest time, away from worries of the world; so that for a little moment everything is fine and beautiful and clear and simple, because there's only pleasing God and nothing else. And it's also when you're hit by moments of emotional turmoil wrought by illusions of the dunya, that you also think, Arihni. Take me away from this for a little while; prayer is a gift and escape.

Earlier today, we discussed about the four elements of a human being i.e. body, mind, soul and nafs. And that each of these bits of ourselves have to be fulfilled and developed. Completeness and wholeness requires giving appropriate time and attention to each. The day you create an imbalance, you're sure to feel the horrid after-effects the next day: depression, listlessness or perhaps a short fuse. To feel ease, one has to return that balance.

Too true, this. I need to create stricter discipline in my daily life.

Also, I was thinking: maybe true love is when you find more and more reasons to love. It's something that grows and never diminishes; like even if you had all the time in the world, you could not possibly fully discover all the reasons why your heart should be invested here and not anywhere else. Maybe that's why you're supposed to just know.

I need to remember this, and learn. It's not something entirely new; but there are just some things, you thought you thought about, but then you realise you didn't, not really.

When people first learn to use a keyboard, they improve very quickly from sloppy single-finger pecking to careful two-handed typing until eventually the fingers move so effortlessly across the keys that the whole process becomes unconscious and the fingers seem to take on a mind of their own. At this point, most  people's typing skills stop progressing. They reach a plateau. If you think about it, it's a strange phenomenon. After all, we've always been told that practice makes perfect, and many people sit behind a keyboard for at least several hours a day in essence practicing their typing. Why don't they just keep getting better and better?

In the 1960s, the psychologists Paul Fitts and Michael Posner attempted to answer this question by describing the three stages that anyone goes through when acquiring a new skill. During the first phase, known as the "cognitive stage", you're intellectualizing the task and discovering new strategies to accomplish it more proficiently. During the second "associative stage:", you're concentrating less, making fewer major errors, and generally becoming more efficient. Finally you reach what Fitts called the "autonomous stage", when you figure that you've gotten as good as you need to get at the task and you're basically running on autopilot. During that autonomous stage, you lose conscious control over what you're doing. Most of the time, that's a good thing. Your mind has one less thing to worry about. In fact, the autonomous stage seems to be one of those handy features that evolution worked out for our benefit. The less you have to focus on the repetitive tasks of everyday life, the more you can concentrate on the stuff that really matters, the stuff that you haven't seen before. And so, once we're just good enough at typing, we move it to the back of our mind's filing cabinet and stop paying it any attention. You can actually see this shift take place in fMRI scans of people learning new skills. As a task becomes automated, the parts of the brain involved in conscious reasoning becomes less active and other parts of the brain take over. You could call it the "OK plateau", the point at which you decide you're OK with how good you are at something, turn on autopilot, and stop improving.

We all reach OK plateaus in most things we do. We learn how to drive when we're on our teens and then once we're good enough to avoid tickets and major accidents, we get only incrementally better. My father has been playing golf for forty years, and he's still - though it will hurt him to read this - a duffer. In four decades, his handicap hasn't fallen even a point. How come? He reached an OK plateau.

Psychologists used to think that OK plateaus marked the upper bounds of innate ability. In his 1869 book Hereditary Genius, Sir Francis Galton argued that a person could only improve at physical and mental activities up until he reached a certain wall, which "he cannot by education or exertion overpass". According to this view, the best we can do is simply the best we can do.

But Ericsson and his fellow expert performance psychologists have found over and over again that with the right kind of concerted effort, that's rarely the case. They believe that Galton's wall often has much less to do with our innate limits than simply with what we consider an acceptable level of performance.

What separates experts from the rest of us is that they tend to engage in a very directed, highly focused routine, which Ericsson has labeled "deliberate practice". Having studied the best of the best in many different fields, he has found that top achievers tend to follow the same general pattern of development. They develop strategies for consciously keeping out of the autonomous stage while they practice by doing three things: focusing on their technique, staying goal-oriented, and getting constant and immediate feedback on their performance. In other words, they force themselves to stay in the "cognitive phase".

Amateur musicians, for example, are more likely to spend their practice time playing music, whereas pros are more likely to work through tedious exercises or focus on specific, difficult parts of pieces. The best ice skaters spend more of their practice time trying jumps that they land less often, while lesser skaters work more on jumps they've already mastered. Deliberate practice, by its nature, must be hard.

When you want to get good at something, how you spend your time practicing is far more important than the amount of time you spend. In fact, in every domain of expertise that's been rigorously examined, from chess to violin to basketball, studies have found that the number of years one has been doing something correlates only weakly with level of performance. My dad may consider putting into a tin cup in his basement a good form of practice, but unless he's consciously challenging himself and monitoring his performance - reviewing, responding, rethinking, rejiggering - it's never going to make him appreciably better. Regular practice simply isn't enough. To improve, we must watch ourselves fail, and learn from our mistakes.

The best way to get out of the autonomous stage and off the OK plateau, Ericsson has found, is to actually practice failing. One way to do that is to put yourself in the mind of someone far more competent at the task you're trying to master, and try to figure out how that person works through problems. Benjamin Franklin was apparently an early practitioner of this technique. In his autobiography, he describes how he used to read essays by the great thinkers and try to reconstruct the author's arguments according to Franklin's own logic. He'd then open up the essay and compare his reconstruction to the original words to see how his own chain of thinking stacked up against the master's. The best chess players follow a similar strategy. They will often spend several hours a day replaying the games of grand masters one move at a time, trying to understand the expert's thinking at each step. Indeed, the single best predictor of an individual's chess skill is not the amount of chess he's played against opponents, but rather the amount of time he's spent sitting alone working through old games.

The secret to improving at a skill is to retain some degree of conscious control over it while practicing - to force oneself out of autopilot. With typing, it's relatively easy to get past the OK plateau. Psychologists have discovered that the most efficient method is to force yourself to type faster than feels comfortable, and to allow yourself to make mistakes. In one noted experiment, typists were repeatedly flashed words 10 to 15 percent faster than their fingers were able to translate them onto the keyboard. At first they weren't able to keep up, but over a period of days they figured out the obstacles that were slowing them down, and overcame them, and then continued to type at the faster speed. By bringing typing out of the autonomous stage and back under their conscious control, they had conquered the OK plateau.

- The OK Plateau, Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything,

Joshua Foer

Currently at placement but can't help but want to transfer this from one of my virtual post-its (I can't remember where I got it from though!):

And verily Adam (a.s) gave his son Seth council saying : “Oh my dear son, you are my heir and successor, so take on this task with true piety, and hold firm to the rope of Allah, and every time you remember Allah, remember with His name, the name Muhammad (ص) For I have seen ‘Muhammad’ written on the legs of The Almighty’s Throne, And as I crossed the heavens, I did not pass a place except, I saw the name of Muhammad written upon it”.

I acknowledge my own stubbornness.

must. change.

Oh no, must stop ignoring my hotmail inbox! :\ Feel evil.

What has being passionate about women's rights got to do with being the kind of girl who doesn't want to get married? Why do people think like this, I ask you. Even if said in jest, the implication of it makes my blood boil.

This reminds me of other discussions I've had with other like-minded ladies; that if somehow, I'm not jumping into relationships or having a go with any Tom, Dick or Harry, I'm the kind of girl who's too independent to settle or dissing love in some way. I'm sorry if I'm simply trying to get love right; love's too much of a big deal for me to be bochup about it.

Hands-on assessment with real-life clients tomorrow, Bismillah. I need to breathe and stay calm. Remembering the pre-placement talk about learning styles, I know I'm the Reflector type who doesn't ever think she's ready to take the plunge. But no choice! Tomorrow is the plunge. :|

I'm suddenly thinking of Hermione, who tried to learn Quidditch through books, only to feel so inadequate on the broomstick. I suddenly feel like all the reading I'd ever done is not serving me; huhhhhh, borrow so many books for what!

I must think less of the supervisor's eyes on me, and more on the client. Pretend he's not there.

My heart is broken tonight because I found out Pi and Ryo left NEWS. This is so devastating, even to an old, detached fan -- because ohmygod, how could they! :'( I won't be able to see NEWS do anything together ever again? the sadness keeps coming back to me.

The fangirl inside me is mourning.

[edit: 12th Oct]

I like this BNF's attitude:

I don't begrudge either Ryo/Yamapi because this is, first and foremost, still a business. Shit happens. Things happen behind the scenes that we'll never know/understand and for that, I can't judge them because who knows what was said/done behind closed doors. They're no longer part of NEWS, but that's okay with me. K8 is never going to be one of my fav JE groups but I still enjoy them and will support them--it is the year of K8 after all. And Yamapi is still my top Johnny's boy. I will love any/everything he comes out with. While I doubt he'll do stuff in America (damn it), I would love to see where his path takes him. 

All in all, while I am anxious to hear what will happen with 4-member NEWS, I am hoping for the best. I want them to sell. I want them to be able to show everyone that despite all the hits they take, they're still strong enough to keep going. I want them to be happy. I say the same for Yamapi/Ryo. I want them to succeed. I want them to be happy. No hating here. Thnx.

From tinyangl

When you love, you love. :)

An old friend and penpal gave me this wonderful link about someone who succeeded in reducing all her possessions so that it could fit into her car: Operation Hobo. And the awesome effects it had on her mental state.

The less you own, the harder it is to hide from everything still wrong with you. All of the dreams you have yet to realize, even now that your childhood is startlingly far behind you, are suddenly so much more starkly visible once you can’t distract yourself by petting fabric swatches or rearranging your bookshelves.

We’re always saying life is short, but honestly, if you stop staring at paint chips and shopping for throw pillows and arranging vases, if you have so little clothing (let alone accessories like scarves, necklaces, or earrings, of which I own none) that choosing an outfit is hardly an artistic endeavor, you would be surprised at how much time you have and how absolutely terrifying it can feel to have nowhere to put that energy.

I keep wanting to do at least a fraction of this quest -- and the state of my clutter has improved, especially since my course started and my academic clutter has focused specifically to SLP-related paraphernalia. But god, the wardrobe. How to deal with this! And when she talked about throwing out photos and letters, it got me thinking of my entire drawer filled with such; I am a sentimental idiot and every little moment from the past stored in little notes, birthday letters and scribbles are lovingly protected from the dustbin. I think I must learn to pick only the few precious ones and throw the rest out.

The quest is still long, winding and never-ending?

I've been enjoying the day off too much, I feel, but just some last bit of fun stuff: animal videos with narration from Randall! from the famous nastayss-honey-badger vid. Haha, he cracks me up.

"The American Bullfrog. Gross."


"Jesus Christ Lizard."


"Honey Badger don't care, Honey Badger don't give a shit."

I fold thy gentleness within my cloak,
Thy flying wit I braid with jewellery.
I span thy courage with my bravest clasp,
And sip the sweets of thy integrity.
They think thee fair,
They see not what I see.

---

Mini! You should read this: Which iteration of a hero, for instance, do you choose, and what does it mean when you do? Haha, for our next lively discussion.

While her thesis is not that a romance novel indoctrinates readers into believing in certain kinds of relationships — that would be creepy — there's a strong argument here that the genre helps readers identify and articulate needs and feelings they already have, as they notice what kinds of books and heroes they gravitate toward.

The man behind Apple is no more; tribute to Steve Jobs.

Thank you for my beloved Ringo (i.e. my MacBook Air) and for having been an inspiring and creative soul.

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.''

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.''

wow.

If you cannot make distinction between what is beautiful and what is not, then you are missing an instrument of the self. 

from bintyusuf (an awesome lady). I love her one-liners.

Today, a little boy was shrieking at the top of his lungs, "I want a GREEEEEEEEEEN gummy bear! A greeeeeeen one!" And was bawling away. His teacher was like -________- and trying to negotiate two gummy bears in place of the green non-existent one but, dang, he wanted the green. It took quite a bit of coaxing and visual instruction before he could get a grip. And besides being all wah and amazed at the situation, I started thinking about my own gummy bear fantasy. My picture of heaven has a bigger-than-life gummy bear at the entrance to my abode, from which I would take a munch every time I feel like it. (I imagine myself running into the arms and then taking a big bite.) heheheh, it somehow made me more sympathetic -- because whatever gummy bear means to you! It means this much to me.

A good start for today!

Michelle Lincoln's top 6 tips for placement:

1) Be prepared.

2) Be clear about your goals.

3) Know yourself.

4) Don't panic when things go wrong.

5) Communicate.

6) Think and reflect.

Remember, it's not about perfecting this life. It's about perfecting the soul. Dear God, I think maybe when I fall, it's Your reminding me, so thank You.

Stolen from a friend:

Who would you rather believe? An administration that has a track record of being a liar or a scholar who spoke for injustice, albeit with a fiery spirit. Anwar Al-Awlaki did not deserve to die for being so called 'linked' to numerous supposed attacks and this phantom organisation called Al-Qaeda. I don't believe any of it.

Are we in a Minority Report fantasy world? Kill someone before they actually do something?

Dear God, help me not demonise that whole country for the actions of their idiot few.

Right groups sue US over Muslim cleric Anwar Awlaki.



sigh.