Why do bad things happen to good people? :(

Honestly, it's a stupid question. But we ask it all the time. Isn't it the reason that some people denounce God? That they're so upset with the state of the world, they give up on the idea of God looking down on us? But seriously - you know, isn't it possible God knows better? Because there are more important things than transient happiness on this Earth, eh? Like nobility, for instance. Or profundity. Or courage. Or true faith, not faith just when you get enough food and money and clothes. (And God protect us from such difficult tests of faith.) Such beautiful qualities are only nurtured and polished in adversity.

This reminds me of that Huxley novel I just finished the other day - Brave New World; how utter comfort and happiness breeds a particular ugliness. It makes me wonder you know, that maybe humans are meant to overcome challenges. That that's what we live for. We're here just to fight obstacles, and when we have none, we've lost reason for existence. In short, as we always hear - life ain't worth living till there's something worth dying for.

The way my mind drifts - haiyoh. @.@

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Anyway, found a new animal I possibly like more than pandas and lambs!!! ALPACAS.

They're like lambs with long necks, which probably explains why I find them so irresistibly adorable. XD The first time I saw them was on a Jap tv show just yesterday, with Yamapi (haha). They invited alpacas onto the show! And Yamapi and the Buzzer Beat cast were patting their fluffy fur and all, and squealing kawaii at intervals. This, of course, only exarcebates my unbidden love for this creature. :P

I used to harp on a lot about intuition and coincidences and fate. And then, I became a little bit more cynical and skeptical. Things only happen because you make it so, ne. But today, I think the old me was right to believe in the wonderful workings of divine power. Allah does help those who help themselves. God does answer wholehearted pleas. You'll find the truth if you search it. The thing you look for might fall right onto your lap, and then you sit stunned for at least a second. And go wow.

In the morning, I was helping process documents at Mendaki as usual, and I saw someone quote Paul Coelho in her personal statement: how the universe conspires for you when you fight for your passions or convictions.

I bumped into the Finance Director at the photocopy machine after that. She asked me if I was the one who had graduated and was working at Deloitte. I gave her a confused no, I haven't even graduated yet! I don't even know what Deloitte is.

Then I left earlier than usual, because I was meeting my Human Relations project mates, who have become my USP friends, at Orchard. Raphael was leaving for Philly for NOC, so we gathered for a little farewell. And we talked about random work and school stuff. And Raphael mentioned his sister works at Deloitte. And my brain went, eh?

Then later he mentioned he was working at Exploit Technologies (the new kid on the block at Biopolis, I think) for a bit this summer and basically they do knowledge transfer from research to market. And they had some new 2-year internship program for fresh grads and suggested me and Vaish check it out some time if we're interested. (It turns out Vaish is aiming for med school.) By this time, I was already a little rattled. Like wow. Wasn't this what I've been thinking about for some time now?

Then he went further to ask me what I wanted to do after graduation. And because things had turned so favourably, I dared to say, Something like medical writing? And he enthusiastically replied, Oh, I know a professor whose wife works as a medical writer at nusmed! I could get you to meet or talk to her if you want. And I really went, Majide!!!! in my head. I couldn't believe it.

You see, I have been privately cracking my head about my future plans and stumbled on the concept of medical writing or basically, communication in science. I thought, what could be better, eh? I get to write, something I know I can at least do okay, and I get to use my background in science. I wasn't so confident on the concept of doing graduate work or research in bioinformatics (although I'm not closing off the option entirely), what with my mediocre CAP and blurness in programming and all, and here was an option that might work, you know. And I had already spent some time reading about it and looking up people who do it (there aren't many, if any, in Singapore) and I was contemplating corresponding with one of these people for advice. I'd been mulling about it for days. So, Raphael offering something like that- Oh, I know someone who's a medical writer! You want? - was seriously, @.@ - wow.

And I said, Okay, I think I'll mail you some time.

So yes, today was a little significant. And I'm going to gather my guts and do something about this.

And okay, I'm still trying to figure out the exact meaning of Deloitte being mentioned by random people twice in one day. Haha. Or maybe I'm just looking for patterns where there aren't any. :P But I don't know, the idea that a pattern does exist is just... better to me.

Also, Jiawen is right - you really can learn, and should learn, from anyone, and anything.
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Anyway, away from future worries and whatnot, I reread a funny Hanadan fic and I just have to post a link here: 4 Times Domyouji Almost Wrecked (Someone Else's) Wedding, and 1 Time He Saved It

This fic reiterates how crazily special an OTP Tsukasa and Tsukushi are. It is so hilarious. I just totally love how the fic embellishes the way Makino questions her sanity for having fallen for the idiot Domyouji is. XD It is funny as hell. The Domyouji antics are so spot on. I love it.

"You look like a pimp!"

"Eh?" He frowned at her reflection in the mirror, and then grinned in triumph. "I don't have a hand crank! Eh, dummy?"

Makino blinked at him in bewilderment, then rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "No. Idiot. PIMP, not PUMP. God, you're such a moron. Why did I marry you?"

"Because I'm Domyouji Tsukasa, heir to Domyouji Holdings, and you are the girl I chose!"

Gosh, just thinking of Domyouji now makes me want to crack up. XD I realise it may not sound remotely amusing to someone who hasn't watched Hanadan - to which I say, Please clue yourself in. Boys Over Flowers is becoming a legend, please. Just the soundtrack of the Korean version was on the 2nd spot on the top 10 Asian albums at HMV today. -_-

I've been chewing on it, and I've finally decided - I am going to go and get the Tegomass no Uta album! They're a subset of NEWS, I've always loved them, Tego sounds so good, and Tego and Massu harmonize wonderfully, so their songs are rarely bad. These are good enough reasons. yay. I hope HMV or Sembawang has it, even if they're the Taiwan versions. Actually, I think those are cheaper? wtv, I'm getting them! :D

Damn it. I feed on OTPs. (By the way, in case you don't know: OTP = one true pairing.) They are too cute, okay. And they keep my faith in true love alive, haha. Sad as it sounds. What caused this revival was Yujie linking me to a clip of Toma and Kato Ai on TOKIO's regular show and the boys were teasing Toma for behaving like he likes her. It was hilarious. And incredibly adorable. oh gosh. And I'd always thought they looked perfectly cute together, which only increases their OTP-ness. Also, it helps that I really like this girl! I rarely like girls, haha, because I think I always assess them with higher standards than I do guys.

I think I found a real life OTP too! Haha. I mean, I know of people who are seriously so OTP, one can't help but feel happy that they're together. Like it feels like the planets are aligned and all of nature is in perfect balance. XD Oh dear. I sound mad.

You know, I had kind of a private rule for myself -- not to blog at 3 am, give or take. Because usually, I'm at my wonkiest at these times. Entries posted in the vicinity of 3 am always horrify me when I reread them at a more decent hour - they're always extra mad, extra hyper and riddled with ultra random rambles and whacked theories.

So, for now... ja!

I just felt like I should post something although I'm not really in the mood. I think I had something bad to eat last night, so I was a bit under the weather today. I skipped my admin service hours at Mendaki and slept half the day away. An upset stomach, coupled with the hectic weekend, really paid its toll on me.

So anyway, yes, Kaktiyah finally got married. All in all, the ceremony went smoothly and Kaktiyah was all smiles and happy tears, so we were all equally happy. I'd brought my photoprinter for the reception table like we planned but there was no power point nearby so I haven't yet printed the photos for the guestbook. I thought I'd get to it today, but I kept visiting the toilet and falling into fits of sleep, so I gave up. My head is still throbbing lightly. I plan to sleep early tonight.

I've been steadily reading through Jodi Picoult's Keeping Faith. It's not a fantastic story (hell, it reads a bit like fanfiction to me :s) and most of it is amazingly predictable, but the whole concept of God has always been able to keep me interested. I think, in general, very few people can take the topic of God and create a very novel and compelling story. Also, being Muslim and all, I resent how non-Muslims always think they know all about Islam when in most cases, they don't at all. Knowing the word Allah, for instance, means nothing. -_-

HP6 Movie Spoilers.

Also, I have of course watched the HP6 movie. And am hoping to watch it again with my mum sometime soon. I was very much disappointed when I exited the cinema - none of the special things I liked about Book 6 was replicated well enough in the movie; nothing about the history of the Slytherin family and how Voldie is virtually the last living descendant; about Voldie's muggle origins; and barely anything substantial about Snape's past as a genius potions student and how he is the half-blood prince. Also, while the Ginny/Harry relationship development may not have been perfectly executed in the books, I'd always rooted for them and loved Ginny. Bonnie Wright as Ginny in this movie was quite painful to watch. She was so incredibly stiff (I'm trying to decide now who's worse, her or Meisa) and there was barely any chemistry to speak of. Everything was so forced. But moving on from all the blunders of the romance department, I'd say that the teenage Tom Riddle was awesome. Who was that boy??? I swear I've seen him somewhere before but I can't place him; but the point is, his depiction of a young and still unscarred Tom/Voldemort was chilling and impressive. I was thinking, Yes, this is how I imagined a young Voldemort - so enticingly dangerous! He had subtlety in his acting (the right kinds of glances and pauses), which sad to say, was lacking in every other member of the young cast. Granted, Emma Watson was less screechy as Hermione, but she still needs to learn subtlety. Other saving graces include the expectedly nice special effects, the Death Eaters as a whole (although at times I think they're playing up Bellatrix too much), Tom Felton's rather convincing portrayal of a distraught Draco and Dumbledore's moment of death was quite well done too, I think.

I'm excited already about watching it again because I want to go in with lower expectations now, and reassess the movie. :)

Okay, I looked the boy up - he's called Frank Dillane and has only acted once before in Welcome to Sarajevo (1997) with his father Stephen Dillane. Other people on IMDB seem to think he was creepy as hell in the HP6 movie too. :P Man, this boy is one to watch.

I went to meet one of my professors today, to settle my FYP. And after hours of waiting (because I'd come in the morning like he said but he wasn't free till the afternoon and I agreed to wait) I finally knocked on his glass door and opened it. And HAHA, my eyes almost fell out of its sockets in shock. Of course, it took me a second to pretend like nothing was wrong as he pleasantly asked me to wait again.

His office is a superb mess. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. I'd never seen any room as messy except in the movies. There was not quite enough space for me to stand, even, because there were papers everywhere. There were several crumpled charts on the floor, two swivel chairs haphazardly thrown in the middle of the room, with unopened letters on them, the guest sofa was similarly littered with objects and unidentified documents and I didn't know if I could move them in order to sit. So I moved to the corner next to the door which was blessedly uncluttered and started to scrutinise the poster of cell regulation pathways as I waited for him to finish discussing with his graduate student.

I ended up standing there for a good half hour and during that time, I started to observe the rest of his room because my god, I kept wondering, Why is it so messy??? I mean, I am by no means a neat person. My bedroom is testimony to this. But even I couldn't fathom why pieces of rubbish and papers and charts and starhub bills are all over the floor! I wanted to laugh out loud, really. Did he just move into this office? But no, his starhub bills (it clearly had his name on it) proved otherwise. Was he searching for something - like a crucial formula for a split second experimental decision? Was he robbed? That could explain how everything seemed to be thrown around the room but that didnt explain why someone had quite clearly vandalised one of the desks with a red marker. I couldn't explain it. XD The only conclusion I could come up with: he's one of those genius within chaos types.

Anyway, at least he was nice enough and I think I'm closer to getting my FYP settled. :D

Going out for lunch tonight!

I went to Times at Tampines1 today; bought Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers: The Story of Success and Jodi Picoult's Keeping Faith. I also saw Cassandra Claire's (I shall forever spell it with an i, CC, no matter how you try to run away from your previous pen name, just because I always have) City of Glass on the shelf! (In case you don't know, this person wrote the fanfiction Draco Trilogy that I have harped on about many times. She is now a published writer.) I think it's the first time I've seen her book in Singapore... I am kind of curious about it but I feel no inclination to work through all three books and the fact that the famous Twilight author, Stephenie Meyers, gives her praises on the book cover puts me off rather than motivates me. :P I also went to Action City and bought something cute - fake bread!!! It has a weird caramel scent that is supposed to be the smell of bread (I honestly don't get it) and I bought two - one for Elsie (haha!) and a bigger one for Kaktiyah (because she's getting married soon and I wanted to give some sort of a farewell gift - @.@ I hope she doesn't read this before she gets it!).

And I just realised I have too many things in parentheses in the paragraph above. Bah. :P

I've decided that Tampines1 has become my favourite mall in recent times, despite the lack of halal food places and despite its history of collapsing ceilings and the H1N1 case. It's big and doesn't have as many people, unlike Tampines Mall next door which is seriously abominably crowded on weekends. It has two of my favourite stores in the basement: Yamakawa Super which sells all kinds of yummy Japanese food products, and Urban Write which sells awesome stationery and knick-knacks. It also has UNIQLO, from which I haven't purchased anything but have been planning to for a while now. It has J.Co. which, believe it or not, is the only donut shop in the entire Tampines shopping hub! We had everything but donuts before Tampines1 arrived. And of course, everything is within walking distance from home. :) Did I say before how I shall never live anywhere else but Tampines? (If possible, of course.)

My Arashi love has increased over the past few days; I thought it had reached high enough levels. But time and again, I just have to concede that their member love just wins hands down, over all of JE groups ever. Or any other boyband that I know of. This friendship thing that they have just sells so well and is so surprisingly inspiring. It fills me with a warm glow. :) I've seen quite a bit of SMAP now (thanks to my sister whose love for Kimura kind of exploded ever since she watched Love Generation) and even Arashi beats SMAP. Defintely. I was also telling Duckie the other day, how trying to choose a favourite Arashi member is like trying to decide which HP book I like best. Everyone's just so special in their own way - gah; it's virtually impossible.

I realise I have a really soft spot for quirky people. The weirder they are, the more I'd like them. Like Ohno! Gosh, the way this man stones, even during Arashi's shows, just cracks me up. He rarely speaks and when he does, he says weird random things that are just funny. And he does unusual things like playing with clay to make African faces and goes fishing for more than 24 hours at a stretch. But he's undoubtedly the best singer in Arashi, and some say the best dancer as well. Maybe it's my bias speaking, but I feel that geniuses are rarely ever normal anyway. The quirky people, in my view, are quirky precisely because they have some very novel and interesting way of looking at the world and dismissing them would be a great remiss.

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I keep feeling like I'm falling in love with Arashi ALL OVER AGAIN.

Omgosh, if that isn't true love, I don't know what is. Haha. XD

Can I find someone in real life who makes me feel like this HAHAHAHA. Not that Arashi aren't real, but, you know. Unattainable. XD

I don't believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.

- George Eliot

This quote hit the nail of my thoughts tonight. (Do I make sense? :P) I've started to feel a little happier lately because I've concertedly thought of life differently. There is no more, "I have to get this done by this time!" or "If I do this, will I ruin my life???" I've decided that hey, it's best to live life by my own terms, not by any external measure, and to keep learning and growing. Forever, if possible. One of the keys to a happy and meaningful life is to nurture curiosity.

Anyway, my iPod Touch arrived today and I am enjoying my little friend now. :D I am also seriously amazed by the power of technology. I also cleaned one of my drawers (threw out a lot of junk) and found a hari raya packet that contained $12!!!! :D Awesome or what. Windfall! (Okay, a mini one.)

Went to get my IC replaced today, with Mumu for company. And after that we had Pastamania at Cathay Cineleisure and watched Dance, Subaru!.

I was trying very hard to be lenient to Kuroki Meisa's acting - but gosh, she's just so stiff. Her expressions are just so... wooden. She's pretty and all, but gah. Her acting irks me; and it irks me more cause I like her and I cringe for her. Admittedly, she's better here than in Crows Zero, but still. I think Mumu and me were crying more than her character; the story was really sad (and rather draggy in the middle). Mumu and me were crying like mad that we had to get tissues out at the end but Meisa only had a few tears seeping out (and they looked rather forced). :P

Also, somewhere in the middle, DBSK appeared for like 15 seconds and the girls next to me physically spazzed. They were trying to suppress their squeals, but failed of course. -.-" I was like, "Haiyoh, I think DBSK is responsible for at least a third of the box office sales." But haha, I totally get it. I'm a fangirl too. And DBSK is pretty (Jaejoong, as I commonly proclaim, is like a flawless anime character) and their dancing is awesome and they can actually sing decently. What's to hate.

And in case you don't know who or what DBSK is... Although, to me, that's rather appalling (but that's cause I've fallen into Jpop/Kpop world and therefore have very skewed perceptions now), here's a photo (and god, just google them lah okay. They're awesome to watch.):

And link here. And this is the amazing dance version of their song Mirotic. It's really wow. And I'm not even a proper fan, okay. I only know these things because my sister shows them to me. My heart belongs to Pi, NEWS and Arashi. :P

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And since dearest genius Shweta who is tinkering away in a lab in MIT requested I blog about things other than my Jap fangirling, HP and Lymond (you leave me little choice, my dear), I shall. And since my sister is blaring Billie-Jean from her laptop now...

Where was I when I found out MJ died? I was having pancakes for breakfast at MacDonald's with Lin. Lin was the one who announced it to me and I went, "WHAT??????????" of course. I mean, who didn't. Couldn't believe it at first. I mean, this is the Michael Jackson. This week's edition of Newsweek had a very nice article on him: What his life felt like from inside, from outside it was manifestly a work of genius, whether you want to call it a triumph or a freak show - those are just words. We'd never seen anyone like this before, either in his artistic inventiveness or his equally artistic self-invention, and we won't forget him - until the big Neverland swallows us all.

Some older people don't think MJ reached the consciousness of my generation, but he definitely did. I mean, I can't even recall a time when I didn't know MJ. I grew up with Hussain dancing MJ's moves during our holiday trips and doing the crotch-grabbing OW! Heee. Sweet memories. I distinctly remember us somewhere in rural Terengganu, putting on an MJ show near the roadside while the elders chatted away in the house. Of course, no one actually watched but we kept cheering Hussain on. Hussain was seriously born to be a performer, man. We keep urging him to try Singapore Idol. :P (I digress.)

MJ. RIP.