yes, I should be studying, but no, I haven't.

As usual, I'm in my usual pattern of discovering frakking amazing books and uncovering new obsessions at a time when I should be mugging. Then again, when is it not a time for mugging? -_- And I know people are in their right minds when they see me stuck in a book and say, "You're reading a novel?" in a tone that better befits the phrase, "Are you sure you aren't digging your own grave here?"... but I still can't stand it. What's wrong with my feeding my insatiable curiosity? :( I stumble upon something fascinating and devour it accordingly. It's only natural.

I can't help but feel that pure muggers are hypocrites. You know. People who study so damn freaking hard and bury themselves in books for pretty grades. And they specifically pick modules that are easy to score so they can get them pretty grades. They're making a travesty of knowledge and education. It makes me angry. I know everyone studies to get a good job anyway, and there's none of that idealistic notion of learning-for-knowledge's-sake (much as I wish it), but at least have some semblance of respect for knowledge! And don't openly treat knowledge as a mere tool for societal advancement!

Why do I rant so. I amuse myself. (Damn, why doesn't blogspot have stg similar to an LJ cut? If it did I'd put that whole paragraph under a cut.)

Anyway, the new book I've discovered, in line with my Jap phase, is the Sano Ichiro series by Laura Joh Rowland. It's a series of mysteries set in 17th century Japan, where Sano Ichiro, the shogun's Most Honorable Investigator, uncovers deadly political secrets and solves murders, while narrowly escaping death at every escapade. The female protagonist and Sano's wife, Reiko, is also a kick-ass, sword-wielding, sharp-tongued and unconventionally-educated high-class lady, in the same league as Veronica Mars and Philippa Sommerville. She helps Sano with the investigations when she can. And didn't I just say the other day that how much I like the female lead usually dictates my continued fondness of the story? :) Reiko is awesome. I love her. Needless to say, the series has me in thrall, and in little more than a week, I've finished four of the thirteen books Rowland's released. They're really unputdownable. Some people have criticised that Rowland's more skilled at the development of her characters and their lives than the mystery plot, but I'm not nitpicky. I'm more than sufficiently entertained.

Sometimes. I realise how my 21-year-old self still harbours my 14-year-old insecurities. It's upsetting. It's like, you know, you thought you've grown up, for good. That you're happy with yourself and the way you are. And then stupid little things happen. And you discover that, crap, you might never have changed at all. Times like these, I wonder if people can change, or we're all destined to be who we are the day we're born.

On something else weird: People apparently like to ask me, "Where are you from?" And I think I give them the 'are-you-kidding-me' face and say in an incredulous tone, "I'm from Singapore." Like two of my biophysics tutor asked me that. Either it is an extremely rare thing to have Singaporeans doing physics or biophysics or walking around the S12 building of science, OR, their concept of Singaporean = Chinese. My tutor ridiculously added, after I told him that I was Singaporean, "Oh, you sound American." @_@ I was completely surprised (and a little affronted), I tell you. And I self-consciously checked if I was unwittingly imitating Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton or something, but seriously, why would I even?! It is an appalling concept for me to even WANT to do such a thing because America is one of my least favourite countries in the world (for a myriad range of reasons). If I'd accidentally spouted Japanese or something, it'd be more understandable.

OHMYGOD. Will Smith and Jodie Foster on KAT-TUN. Will Smith was so sporting and so funny. He's great. But then Jin interviewed Jodie Foster, IN ENGLISH, and I was so scared for him. He looked the most nervous I'd ever seen him! He was stiff as a board and while Jodie Foster was being nice and accomodating, the atmosphere was still weird as hell. He was just too nervous, so far removed from his cocky self. Ah, it was excruciating! But Jin's accent was surprisingly nice and he spoke decent English. All the time in the US helped, apparently.

I feel so exhausted. -_- September is turning out tougher than I'd expected. Ramadhan always entails more work - with the food, then the night prayers. And the waking up early. And coupled with all the last minute assignments due before the university recess = brain chaos. My eyes feel like lead. My back is starting to ache more often. And I'm starting to feel more anxious. It's just. NOT HEALTHY. I'm thinking now of the nice sweet times just before the start of semester, when me and eunice went cycling in the morning at east coast, when emotions were high and I was pumped for the future. But now. All I want is a respite again. And looking at incomprehensible greek symbols (Shweta and me have ascertained that we'd be somewhat masters of the Greek alphabet by the end of this sem) in math and biophysics has made me feel like everything is difficult again, and life is harder than ever, and my future is scary as hell. And like sometimes, I think: Why am I doing this? Can I actually go on like this? Ah! I seriously don't need more self-doubt.

NEWS' new single 'Happy Birthday' is out. I have very lukewarm feelings towards it, both song and PV. It lacks punch. And hello, the pv is like so cheapskate please. -_- Cartoon cats and chickens and them in rather bland white suits, I feel. And just: Yamapi's hair! >.< That perm needs to go asap. Also, I have a feeling this single won't go to number one. I haven't been keeping track though.

And I just found out @_@!!!! Jiawen is going to Taipei for the Arashi concert! >.< ohmygoodness. How exciting. Talk about crazy fan behaviour HAHA. I told her to sms me when she's looking at Nino live.

Also, been watching Lost in Austen in teeny bits, due to shortage of time. I watched two parts of episode 2 last night, and the part where Amanda sang Downtown to entertain the Bingleys and Darcy TOTALLY cracked me up. It was uberly hilarious. Bingley's face was torn between admiration and bewilderment, and Darcy just looked confused. I think I quite like Amanda, the girl who gets transported to the world of Pride and Prejudice. And this spells well for the show because my love for any show is highly dependent on how much I like the leading lady. Well, with the exception of Supernatural. :P There being no leading lady in it.

okay, night calls.

I've decided to chronicle a little of this year's Ramadhan, since my family always has gatherings on Saturdays to break fast together. But then I stupidly forgot to bring my camera to Cik Nah's place yesterday! Bodoh!

Speaking of which, when we were going home after yesterday's gathering, and saying our goodbyes at Cik Nah's house door, there was this flying creature. This flying creature turned out to be a cockroach. @_@ At which my sis and me screamed and I tried to hide behind my grandmother, and my aunts refused to budge out the door, and I'm pretty sure the neighbours were at the very least, annoyed. >.< It was so funny. I like made a mad dash for the lift lobby while one of the boys, Amir allegedly, stamped the cockroach to death. It never ceases to amuse me how these pesky creatures can create mayhem within a split second.

These are pics from the first Ramadhan weekend, 6th Sept 08, @ Cik An's place, Telok Kurau.

This is why Ramadhan rocks.

Bubu back from Qatar!

Porridge! And my granny's never-fail sambal goreng.

Our array of scrumptious food.

Popiah!!! One without the super-hot sambal for weak tastebuds and one with. At one point, Cik Dah and me were fighting over the last few pieces of popiah, but then luckily there were some more. :P

Getting ready for terawih.

Granny and me.

I like this photo! Caught my sister's expression nicely. Amused by all the banter.

And then the lepak-ing after terawih.

Toodles.

Semester time is not a good time for blogging. I need inspiration for writing. And being bogged down by worries of assignments and lack of grasp of module concepts is far from conducive for inspiration. All I feel like doing sometimes is keyboard smashing in frustration or something. I just. Feel. Tired.

This is where a break into song would be appropriate: I want to break free. I want to break free! You know. That song. Okay, nevermind.

At the back of my mind, I keep thinking how I want to sit down and blog properly. You know, some nice honest from the heart ponderings. But for that, timing is crucial! Now ain't the time. With Ramadhan, I just feel constantly sleepy, and it's maddening because hell, now's the time to do more good, not to grumble about lack of time and fatigue and frustrations. oh gah. I need to shut up.

So anyway, since I figured my mood isn't all good, I'm going to do less with the words for now and more with pics or random fan postings.

And today, I found something interesting from kamika's blog: a new British show called Lost in Austen, about a Pride-and-Prejudice-obsessed girl who got transported into the world of the book and meets the Bennets and Bingley and Darcy and all of them. It's quite amusing. I say, there is no end to the Austen obsession.

Link to the first episode here. If you feel like checking it out, do it QUICK! Because you never know when youtube will rip it off.

Am becoming frazzled over my protein ISM paper. Getting to writing the first word down is the hardest part! gah. I don't know how to start. :( Sometimes I wish for a brainless job.

Am talking to duckie. And we're reminiscing a little on our long friendship and past fiascos. Apparently, I've always been known as the Queen of Emotional Outbursts. I really can't help myself. Don't know why I'm like this imploding volcano everytime. Grumble grumble grumble dan kaboom! Gosh. I should strive to be more zen. Deep breaths. Don't get too excited over things.

Gosh. Me and duck are talking deep things. Like true loves. And never being too happy with second best. And relationship issues. And finding happiness. And just. why is life so perplexing.

We were hypothesising how if one of us gets left behind while the rest get attached, wouldn't it be depressing, we'd have no one to rant to:

[Yu Jie] says:
who will i sms?!?!??!
so OTP it hurts says:
I hope none of us gets left behind!
so OTP it hurts says:
:(
so OTP it hurts says:
JUST SMS ME.
so OTP it hurts says:
I dont care about my bf okay.
so OTP it hurts says:
I lvoe you.
so OTP it hurts says:
~love
[Yu Jie] says:
aw
[Yu Jie] says:
but... what if he were yamapi?!?!?!?!?
[Yu Jie] says:
don't regret your words... :'D
so OTP it hurts says:
EVEN IF.
so OTP it hurts says:
HAHA
[Yu Jie] says:
REALLY!!!

:P

I'm just loving this song right now.

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
we´re just one big family
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la one big family ([2nd time:] ah, la happy family)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
Theres no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours
~ Jason Mraz, I'm Yours

This is really random but I saw some strangely dressed people in the train today. I tried not to look too amused though. One was a girl dressed in a frilly black and red dress, with matching black net stockings and red shoes to boot. And black and white patterned nails. She looked like she was from some cosplay event. Maybe she was. And next to her, was this guy, who actually wore a decent-looking white, hooded shirt but, for some reason, he reminded me so much of L from Death Note, I just wanted to laugh. He had his hood up over his head, and kept his fringe nicely arranged across his forehead. It was the way he seemed to be subtly bopping to some phantom music (I checked; he had no earphones on!) that made him seem like in his own world or something. And the way he sat, like he was perching, although his feet were on the floor, made me think of L too.

Watched HYD movie yesterday. (Abah allowed us to go despite it being Rmaadhan. He said: "Just this once!") The movie satisfied the fans, I think. Thoroughly. The premise was crazy and ridiculous and there was a bit of lameness in some parts, but overall, nyaaaaa. :) It was a fuzzy, heartwarming finale with beloved characters returning and Tsukasa and Tsukushi being so adorably funny together. I laughed really hard at some parts, which makes me glad. Seriously, Tsukasa is so idiotically and crappily random, it's hilarious. I still don't get a line he said to Rui, when Rui was talking to Tsukushi: something along the lines of, "Don't get too close or she'll catch your spaciness!" Naturally, Rui went, "Hah?" Everybody went, "Hah?" I'm still going Hah! I don't get it. >.< Tsukasa's logic is so skewed. <3 Loved it.

It's the fourth week of sem. And things are approaching a lull. In other words, my jiayou feelings and enthusiasm has started to dip, and I'm starting to push work to the side again. :s It's so hard to stay hardworking. I wish I had a button to switch off my daydreaming and my distractions, so I can focus on work. Discipline! Where art thou! And really, it's not that I absolutely hate what I'm studying. It's tough, but I don't dislike it. In fact, once I do get into the mood of perusing my texts, I do get absorbed in them. It's just that maybe... they aren't interesting enough? Or maybe I have a lifelong mild ADD (attention-deficit disorder) or stg, and I can't help but want to jump from one thing to another.

Anyway, in relation to this here's a cute icon I stole from somewhere:


on other things:

1) Had Mentors' Day with the Irsyad kids. It was the sweetest thing. And I cried! I blame Nusaibah, my mentee, who started crying when she gave me this turtle soft toy thingy. And there was much hugs and sniffles, and I kept telling them to work hard for PSLE. Aiyah. They were all so adorable. Emo emo emo-ness. I loved it though. <3 After it all, I had fuzzy warm feelings inside.

2) My sister got to meet her indon tv stars at the geylang light-up! Cinta Fitri's Farrell and Fitri. She was one of the ushers and got to see them up-close. Exciting x 1000! And she got CIP hours for this. What crap, I say.

3) My wacky family went to mount faber at midnight this past saturday. For fun. We ate pre-packed ice kachang and ice jelly cocktails at faberpoint and took random photos. We left at 2 plus am. @_@ record!!!

4) Kurosagi the movie is actually coming to Singapore! @_@ And I thought it wasn't so I'd already watched online. But nvm. Maybe I'll catch it anyway.

5) Did I already mention Hana Yori Dango? Yes, HYD! This week! This week!

6) My mum claimed she saw a pocong in Kelantan. (She and Dad just came back from Pakcik Mail's place, bearing a whole load of rambutans this time.)

:) 98.7FM says September is going to be a good month. And I agree. yeah, yeah, yeah.