Lymond a Mary-Sue? haha! Never thought of him that way! Read: The Dread Mary Sue

I think he almost is one; almost, almost! :p Perfect almost beyond compare. But because Dunnett rocks and manages to make him real despite his enormous talents, with believable flaws, makes him commit hideous mistakes and makes him suffer accordingly, I'm more inclined to fit him in the hero-archetype category.

I have decided to be happy. I will learn to be happy. I can be happy. I have decided to escape life-rut once and for all. :)

I have a ton-load of math to work through though. And an essay. And three tests to study for. And an SEP I can't seem to successfully plan. And poor job prospects. And falling CAP. And a sad social life. But I will not let happiness slip away, so help me god. >_<

I think I'm having a somewhat non-blogging phase right now. I don't feel like sharing my thoughts. At all. Gandhi says: It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you're not. aiyah, but it's always easier said than done.

anyway, since it's Ramadhan and all, here's a link: Quran Explorer It's beyond fantastic. You can choose the reciter, the translation and browse through any surah or chapter with a click of the mouse. The internet is magic, don't you think?

Abah came back today! :))) Umi and me took the bus to terminal 2. And Sani Hussain took the same bus as us. We keep seeing him lah! The other time it was at the coffeeshop. But I pretended not to recognise him. And my mum truly didn't. My brother wasn't around to say hi anyway, so we ignored him. Besides, he was wearing sunglasses - which ultimately mean "Stay away from me."

Abah's luggage seriously weighed 35kg or stg. I could barely drag it okay, let alone lift it in any way. It was worse than my US luggage (which I couldn't lift up the train steps to get to San Fran; uber embarassing). And he bought scarves and brooches for us and arabic cartoons for me. haha yay. I really want to improve my arabic. Also, he took photos of a Hotel Shamiah and a Shamiah shopping centre. Apparently, there's a whole place there called Shamiah. Ahah.

Today, I was really sleeping on my feet. Well, almost. Was half-sleeping in the train to school, was sleeping during biocomp lec, and was really dozing off on a study table for an hour after that. Then, slogged through lab with eyes barely open. Electrophoresis is shit work. The machine keeps conking every other try, so that one has to redo the freaking thing all over again. And we got dismal lab report marks.

But, on a lighter note! Eli is going to send me the movie Sunshine that he has on his comp! Yay. I hope he remembers. Been wanting to watch it since forever. :p

Am dreading politics of heritage lesson for once. And I don't think I wanna explain why. Everything is such a muddle, really.

I was whining tonight too. I was doing my normal cryptic whining. "I don't want to fight anymore..." Then my mum surprisingly responded, "Fight what?" And I simply repeated, "I don't want to fight anymore." I couldn't begin to tell her. Fight what? It's hard to say in so many words. (Besides, I have no intention of overloading this entry with emotional regurgitations.) You know what I keep picturing heaven to be? Just me laying down and looking up at the sky, and knowing the battle is over.

Having math lecture now, but my eyes, awake since 4.30 this morning, are dying to close. -_- Zzzz.

I am happy today because I finally got my birthday present from the birds! (5 months late! haha.) A watch! Obviously, they know my watch status is pathetic. I am currently wearing a $10 watch. heh. so yay! :)

We also grilled pigey. very painfully, I must say. :p She was so uncomfortable, she wanted to fiddle with everything she could get her hands on.

Today I feel like Robin Stewart, contemplating the genius that is Lymond. Sometimes people can be overly brilliant. Ah sigh.

And oh my god. I give up already lah okay. fine fine. we're not a malay country. no point fighting already.

I want to post the entry I contributed at my politics of heritage module forum. Cause I feel for it. So here.

It is difficult to address the issue of legitimacy, because essentially, we have to define what is right and what is wrong. And obviously, not everyone can agree on that. For instance, is the creation of the Israeli State justified? Sure, prehistory confirms that it is so. But at the expense of another country? At the expense of other peoples' homes? If we were to take the Israeli state concept and apply it elsewhere, then wouldn't the Native Americans say, have the right to rule USA, because America is technically theirs?

Singapore is of course, the exact opposite of Israel (despite Lee Kuan Yew's awe of the latter). We are not built on a long ancient history. The majority of Singaporeans are not natives. We came from elsewhere and we have settled here and called this place home. Imagine if the Orang Laut, an imaginary Singaporean version of Israelis on their return to motherland, claimed rule over Singapore - would we concede? I doubt so. So whose is Singapore? Does Singapore belong to the people who helped develop it or does it belong to the people who first originated from this land? Or maybe the most essential question is: Does conquering a piece of land immediately imply ownership? I can't even begin to assert my own opinion on this because I am completely torn about it. The Orang Laut would say, "You stole Singapore from us!" And we'd say, "You weren't here to defend it! And we made Singapore what it is today!" It just seems like an impossible situation!

After discussion in class, I went home to ask my mum, feeling quite bothered, "Singapore is originally a Malay country, right?" My mother replied with a vehement, "Yes!" And I told her, "Well, despite the way you always seem to put it, I don't think it's common knowledge at all!" Quite frankly, I feel very appalled, at the disparity of opinions within my household and within class. No one seemed very ready to say that the Orang Laut were essentially Malays, more than anything else, despite the obvious fact that the term "Orang Laut" itself is of the Malay language. The issue seems somewhat scary, and one has to tiptoe around it. It is starting to appear to me, that the term Orang Laut has been conveniently used to displace the roots of the Malays. Oh sure, quite a number of them were from Malaysia, technically not Singapore itself, and some from Indonesia, but surely, surely, there are indigenous Malays amongst them. But I think if you were to ask a Malay if he was a Native, he'd be confused and say no. I'm not sure what to make of it - state success in rewriting Singapore history perhaps, or are Malays really not natives of Singapore at all?

Of course it would be disadvantageous for Singapore to refer to the distant past with regards to our nationality. We'd be going back to talk of Majapahit eras and their ruling of the entire archipelago, and Malay folk tales of Hang Tuah, Hang Jebat and other Malay warriors. Doing so would backfire on Singapore's racial harmony concept; Malays would perhaps realise that they had more reason to live in Singapore; they'd demand more, perhaps; more rights, more power. Prehistory would favour the Malays. But certainly, starting the 1800s, all the races would be on better footing; we'd all be on par. So that's where our nation-state takes the start of Singapore history.

Kohl and Fawcett brings up the dilemma that "minority groups, particularly indigenous peoples, face when they assert their claims over the remains of a past used by the majority population to create an image of the nation's bi-cultural or multi-cultural identity". I can understand that. Because while Malays would claim that Singapore's distant past belongs to them, Singapore today however, isn't entirely theirs. It's a difficult situation and I think will remain so.

Am finally clearing my hotmail inbox. The amount of undeleted mail is incredible. Then I discovered why I saved certain emails - cause they're sweet and I can be sentimental. But I've decided to be brutal and delete them anyway. So here's some stuff that I've decided to salvage... This one's from my sis while I was in the US.

I am chatting with you, yet you are not chatting. Think umi like really misses you and abang. It's quite funny. She stones in the little spaces of time she has. Then she'll say: "Kakak tengah tidur, kakak tengah kat campus sekarang." and so on. Just informing you that you're being missed.

And this one's from Eunice when we were discussing US holiday:

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. You're thinking, "Eeeks! How can I get to SF from Stanford on my own!! My parents will freak out! I will freak out!!!" (Or something along those lines. :D) DON'T PANIC.

Haha. Ended up taking the train with Christine anyway.

Iftar at our house tonight! :)

I dreamt I bought some bisphosphoglycerate tea (ahahahah! metabolism module obviously getting to me) and that my multiculturalism essay received an impossible A++ grade. (Yes, there really were two pluses!) And that Nerney marked it, not Daniel. Man, I wish I wish.

Went to the airport today to send Daddy off for his Ramadhan Umrah. Jealous jealous! Hopefully, I'll get to go again someday. I was telling my sis:

Me: You know what. I think the only time I was really really happy was when I was there. I mean, it wasn't really a high, I wasn't having the kind of high that rollercoasters can give you. But I was content and really happy. Despite, I remember vividly, having to study for freaking prelims and lugging my chem textbook. I was just really... happy.

Sis: It's called peace.

Me: YAR! Peace! That's it!

Heehee. But really. Peace is so hard to find.

Anyway, I also wish I was more affectionate like my sis. I take afer my dad too much (his fault, I say!). When she hugged him today, she immediately said, "I love you." She made it easier for me to tell him I love him too.

Airports are places brimming with love.

***

On other shocking news: pigey! goodnessgracious. I told Duckie today that we should make a pact. Should any of us friends undergo anything major in our lives, the rest should be informed within a one month period, MAX. That should be enough buffer period for whatever thinking, chewing-over, or contemplating that one needs to do. No?

Suddenly dropping the bomb nearly one year later is seriously @_@. SHOCKING. Do that, and on top of the natural initial surprise, expect a "You took this long to tell us you have a boyfriend???" tirade and also expect to be grilled like a sotong. ahah.

I think I'm falling into my pit of angst again. Every other post will start to sound like a tantrum. But really, man. There are a million and one things to be angry about in this world. Not least with oneself. How does one cope?

My sister just sighed over her physics books again. And I had to laugh out and say, "Why must our lives be filled with sighs?"

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

In other words, be happy despite miserable situation and in the hope of striving for a better one.

okay, enough of this.

***

Peacewish: Stupid bureaucrats! Stupid politicians! They think they can just do whatever they like to us, trample our rights and take away what’s ours, in the name of what they think is ‘right’. Like, the cotton-brained &$-ups in the State Department that are robbing American citizens of their hard earned money for idiotic foreign projects.

Meilin: As in…

Peacewish: As in the government grant they’re ‘giving’ to my school in Thailand. Some dim bulb thought up a plan to prevent future terrorism by teaching all the Muslims down here some English – I guess in the hope that if they know how to order a hamburger in a restaurant they won’t be so inclined to blow it up. Doesn’t bin Laden speak perfectly fluent English?

Tomoyo: Well, in his fatwahs he seems to think it’s all right to end a sentence with both a question mark and an exclamation mark.

haha. I wonder if that's really true.

Sometimes one can find such a treasure of a writer on the internet. I really do like Peacewish's works. (Above is a dialogue she enacts between herself and all her characters at the end of every fic, in the name of thrashing out the plot and themes.) All her political angst fused into a fantasy/action story with adorable and wonderfully-developed characters are extremely engaging.

***

Time for long-long-overdue photos. (So typical of me, isn't it?) Last last weekend (31st Aug) was a much-anticipated cousin dinner at Sakura, courtesy of dearest kaktiyah. It was full of crappiness (on our parts, not the restaurant) and loads of good food. It was a buffet. Hussain accidentally ordered black herbal chicken, thinking it was black PEPPER chicken. It turned out appearing utterly foreign and inedible-looking, and we all dared each other to taste the soup. A memorable night. :)




This is us when we managed to stop laughing.






Hussain lost the number game and was forced to take a sip of his black herbal chicken. :p





***

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Social Nerd   You're interested in things such as politics, psychology, child care, and peace. I wouldn't go so far as to call you a hippie, but some of you may be tree-huggers. You're the type of people who are interested in bettering the world. You're possible the least nerdy of them all; unless you participate in other activies that paled your nerdiness compared to your involvement in social activities. Whatever the case, we could still use more of you around. ^_^
Science/Math Nerd
Literature Nerd
Drama Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Anime Nerd
Musician
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

ahah.

Okay. It's time I blogged. Cause I've been meaning to. But something else always comes first.

This has to be recounted. Because I had such a visceral reaction and I want it to be remembered, and I want people to know. I was having a typical 6-hour-long biochemistry lab session. And some of my lab peers love to converse in Chinese. Which is fine with me, because I have accepted that it is too much of a natural instinct for them when they're together.

But when fellow Indian dude misconstrues Singapore as a result, I SNAP:

Two Chinese dudes walk past blabbering in Chinese to each other, and they seemed harried.

Indian: Eh, what did they say?
Me: Eh. How should I know?
Indian: You've been living in this country forever deh...

I think at this point, my face completely froze over.

Me: Singapore is not a Chinese country, okay. We have a Malay national anthem.

I couldn't control myself. I even jeling ah! Ohmygoodness. And it's so totally not his fault. He was just ignorant. But shock and anger totally monopolised my speech. And then I stalked off to the sink to wash something, before I could say anything else. He looked completely taken aback by my response.

Clearly, this is an uncontrollably sore topic for me. The incredible injustice of it all.

I almost didn't want to blog because I am so freaking tired, I wish I could just keel over, curl into a ball and hibernate like a bear. Really man. I don't know what I'm surviving on. I understand the pull of drugs now. Haha.

You know what I wish? I wish I were a Roswell alien so that I'd only require three hours of sleep a night. I like to sleep, but there just ain't enough time to do all the things that life can offer you.

Had a seriously hectic weekend full of family melodrama, but loads of laughs as well.

Somebody tell me how to survive uni with the family that I have. I feel like rubber slowly being stretched too thin. And then, snap. Haiyoh.

Okay you know what. I am too tired.